


Little Hero

by deathmarkedlove_archivist



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-29
Updated: 2007-01-29
Packaged: 2019-01-31 23:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12692550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathmarkedlove_archivist/pseuds/deathmarkedlove_archivist
Summary: Spike rescues a small girl from the clutches of vampires. Her name? Buffy. PG





	Little Hero

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Hils, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Death-Marked Love](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Death-Marked_Love). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the Death-Marked Love collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/deathmarkedlove/profile).
> 
> Rating: PG
> 
> Summery: Spike rescues a small girl from the clutches of vampires. Her name? Buffy.

The wind whipped around the headstones, playing in the girl’s blonde hair. She almost tripped over a root, but told herself to keep running. Were they still behind her? A quick glance over her shoulder told her that they were.

Where was her mommy? She was so scared…she stumbled over a rock, and lost her balance. She screamed as one of the creatures landed on her.

“Wonder what she’ll taste like?” he said, licking his lips.

“Save some for me! Little brat,” the second muttered under his breath.

The first one laughed as she tried to get away. “Hold still, will ya? I can’t eat you if you don’t stop moving…”

She screamed again as fangs grew into his mouth.

 

< \--- >

 

Spike sat back in his chair, staring at the blank screen of the television. It had been two days since Buffy had rejected him, but it felt like last night. His heart ached in his chest, and decided it was time to get rid of the pain again.

As he reached for his brandy, high-pitched screams came from outside his crypt. He frowned. Didn’t sound like Buffy. Maybe someone younger.

“Dawn,” he breathed, his eyes widening. He grabbed his duster and ran outside.

He looked around until he spotted the source of the sound. He sighed with relief when he saw that it wasn’t his Nibblet, but frowned when he estimated her age. She looked like she was only six or seven. What on earth was a little girl that age doing in a cemetery?

She was about to become a quick meal for two vampires, at that. Wondering briefly where Buffy was, Spike tackled the vampire that was on top of her.

The vampire snarled. “Look who it is,” the second one said, getting into a fighting stance. “The traitor.”

“He’s been telling me about you,” the first one hissed. “You betrayed the vampires to help the Slayer.”

Spike smirked. “Glad I’m so well known ‘round these parts.”

They attacked at once, causing the girl to scream again. “Run!” Spike yelled at her. She didn’t need to be told twice. She took off, and didn’t look back.

Spike dealt with the vampires quickly enough, before looking around. He sniffed the air, pulling in her scent. It would be easier to find her that way. He could smell fear, youth, but something…familiar. Very familiar.

He followed the scent to a small clump of bushes. He peeked inside and found the girl sniffling, rubbing her ankle.

“Hurt your foot?” he asked with a smile.

She looked up, before screaming again. “Whoa, whoa, hey, it’s just me, ‘member?” he said, kneeling in front of her.

Her screaming stopped, but the look of terror remained on her face. She nodded slowly. “You…you look like them,” she said, sniffling again.

He almost rolled his eyes. He must’ve gone into game face while fighting. He let his features slide back into human form, then smiled at her again.

“Are you…a good vampire?” she asked tentatively.

Spike chuckled. “Somethin’ like that.” He extended his hand to her. “Name’s William.”

“Do you have a nickname?” she asked.

He nodded. “Spike.”

Her nose crinkled. “That’s a funny name.”

His smile grew. “Well then, let’s hear yours.”

“My name is Elizabeth,” she said, giggling.

“Your friends give you a name, too?” he asked, enraptured with her smile. Her face lit up as she nodded eagerly.

“They call me Buffy!”

The world stopped moving. He stared at her, unable to believe what she’d just told him. “Bu-Buffy?” he stammered.

She nodded, then looked down at the ground. “They tease me ‘bout it,” she mumbled.

“Well, I get teased ‘bout my name, too, so I guess we got somethin’ in common.”

She looked up and smiled shyly.

He frowned. “What happened to your ankle?” he asked, for the first time taking in her apparel. The skirt was huge around her waist, and flowed down to below her knees. Her shirt was a blouse with sleeves way too long for someone her age. She wore no shoes, and her hair was a tangled mess.

“I tripped over a tree, and fell down. I’m pretty klutzy, is what my mommy says.”

He swallowed a lump forming in his throat. “What’s your mum’s name?” he asked softly.

“Joyce Summers,” she said proudly. Then her face fell, and she looked ready to cry. “I lost my mommy, and I don’t know where she is,” she said, her lower lip trembling.

He smiled at her, brushing her hair away from her face. “Well, I’ve got some friends, and they can help you look for your mommy. You like cookies and hot chocolate?”

She giggled. “Silly. Who doesn’t like them?”

“I bet they’ll give you some,” he said. “How old are you, Buffy?” he asked, wondering if he was right.

“I’m five!” she said, holding up her hand to show him.

Bloody ‘ell, she was younger then he’d thought. Maybe Red could figure out what had happened to her… “Ready to go, pet?” he said, standing.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not a pet, I’m a girl!” she said, sounding exasperated. She pulled herself to a standing position, and whimpered. “Owie,” she mumbled, as he bent down to examine her ankle.

“Caught it good and proper,” he affirmed, holding his arms out to her. “You, uh, want to…” he stammered.

He was surprised when she wrapped her arms around his neck and waited patiently for him to pick her up. “Will you carry me?” she asked.

He pulled her into his arms, amazed at her trust. She obviously knew he was a vampire, yet had no problem with him carrying her. Was this really the Buffy he knew and loved?

He’d find out soon enough. Making sure she was comfortable, he headed towards the Summers’ residence.

  
< \--- >

 

“Uh, everyone? We’ve got a bit of a small problem here,” Spike said, coming in the front door. The Scoobies turned, taking in the image of Spike holding a little girl. He set her down gently, and she leaned against him while standing on her good foot.

Willow stood up, smiling at her. “Hey there cutie, what’s your name?”

“I’m Buffy!” Buffy said proudly.

Willow’s look went from kind to shocked in a matter of two seconds. All eyes turned to Spike, whose nod confirmed their worst fears.

“Told her she could have some cookies and cocoa if she came with me. She’s lookin’ for her mum,” Spike added, watching the horror in their eyes rise higher.

Dawn cleared her throat. “Well Buffy, my name is Dawn,” she said, smiling. “Do you like chocolate chip cookies?”

Buffy nodded eagerly.

“I think we’ve got some of those. Why don’t you come with me, and we’ll see what we can find, ‘kay?”

“’Kay! Bye Spike,” Buffy said, hopping after Dawn.

Dawn frowned as they headed towards the kitchen. “What happened to your ankle?”

“Oh, I tripped over a tree, but Spike was fighting vampires, and…” Whatever else Buffy said was cut off as the two disappeared into the kitchen.

The three remaining Scoobies pounced on Spike the moment they were gone. “What happened to her?” Xander asked.

“Found her in the cemetery ‘bout to become a snack. She’s dressed like Buffy, and I thought maybe a spell had gone wrong,” Spike said, looking pointedly at Willow.

Willow’s face turned red. “I haven’t touched a spell or magic for ages! Point your finger somewhere else.”

Just then, Tara walked in. “Buffy, I’ve got the…oh. H-hello, Willow,” she said softly.

Willow smiled, before looking at her feet. “Hi,” she said, sounding bashful.

“We’re havin’ a small problem, Glinda,” Spike said.

Tara frowned. “Anything I can help with?”

“It’s not a small problem, it’s huge!” Xander exclaimed.

“Actually, she’s very tiny,” Anya offered in Spike’s defense. All eyes turned to her. “Just in case you forgot,” she added.

“What happened, exactly?” Tara asked.

Willow bit her lip. “Uh, first of all, I had nothing to do with this. Just to make this clear with everyone,” she said, stressing the last word while glaring at Spike. Spike rolled his eyes.

“I just came by to drop this off for Buffy,” Tara said, holding up a bag of herbs. “She wanted some relaxing tea.”

“She’s in the kitchen,” Spike said suddenly. “Why don’t you go give them to her?”

Tara looked at them all strangely, but nodded and headed into the kitchen.

She came back a few minutes later, her eyes wide. “Is that really her?” she asked quietly.

They nodded. “Okay,” Tara said, before almost dropping her bag of herbs. “I need to sit down.”

Willow immediately cleared the couch of books so Tara could sit. The other Scoobies found seats and filled her in on the situation. Spike ended up telling the whole story, leaving them even more confused.

“That’s some powerful magic,” Tara commented. “You can feel it surrounding her.”

“You could feel it too?” Willow said. “I mean, I might not do magic anymore, but the waves it’s giving off…I’m just surprised you guys can’t feel it!”

“Any idea how it was done?” Spike asked, looking worried.

Tara shook her head. “That would require some time and lots of research. W-we should keep an eye on her until we figure it out.”

Xander was about to reply when a young babbling voice silenced him. “…And what’s your favorite color?”

Dawn came in, holding Buffy’s right hand in her left. “My favorite color?” Dawn said, pretending to think. “Hmm…I like purple. And light blue is very pretty, too. What about you?”

“’Lellow!” Buffy exclaimed, before realizing what she’d just said. She began to chew on her bottom lip, looking down at the floor.

Willow frowned slightly before kneeling in front of Buffy. “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“I can’t say that word,” she mumbled.

“Ahhh,” Tara said, smiling. “You mean ‘yellow’?”

Buffy nodded, looking disheartened.

Willow grinned. “I used to never be able to say that word, either.”

“Really?” Buffy asked, looking up.

“Really,” Willow confirmed, holding her hand out. “I’m Willow.”

Buffy shook her hand, grin firmly back in place. “I’m Elizabeth,” she said, her tongue curling as she struggled to sound the whole word out. The sight was enough to almost make the group laugh. “Peoples call me Buffy, though.”

“Nice to meet you,” Willow said. “These are my friends Tara, Xander, and Anya,” she said, pointing at each person as she called out their names. “You already know Spike and Dawn, right?”

Buffy nodded emphatically. “Spike saved me, and Dawn gave me cookies!” She was about to say more when she yawned.

“Let’s get you to bed, sleepy-head,” Dawn said, squeezing her sister’s hand. Buffy nodded and was about to head upstairs, before she looked back. She quickly let go of Dawn’s hand and ran over to Spike, hugging him.

Spike was surprised, but even more so when she whispered in his ear, “Goodnight, Spike.” She let go and waved to everyone before heading upstairs, her hand once again tightly in Dawn’s.

The Scoobies watched her disappear, smiles on their faces. Spike was beaming. She was adorable. So full of life, smiles, and energy…

“What happened to her?” Xander asked, apparently voicing everyone’s question.

Spike sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Dunno. Obviously, somethin’ drastic happened between the age she’s at now and the age she’s s’posed to be.”

“She’s so…alive,” Willow said, sitting back with a smile. “And completely adorable. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile so much.”

“She seemed really upset about that yellow thing,” Xander commented.

Spike frowned. “Mentioned somethin’ ‘bout the kids teasin’ her ‘cause of her nick-name. Got that same downcast look and everythin’.”

“Elizabeth is her real name?” Anya asked, perplexed.

Dawn came down just in time to hear Anya’s question and nodded. “You didn’t think Buffy was her real name, did you? The birth certificate says ‘Elizabeth Anne Summers’.”

Tara smiled at Dawn as the teen took a seat. “Is she in bed?”

Dawn nodded. “Yep. Took a little explaining that it was a guest room, but then she wanted to know why there were pictures and things in the room.”

Spike winced. “You explained it?”

“I just told her there was no where else to put them. That’s all.”

A few sighs of relief went through the room. “If that’s settled, why don’t we meet back here tomorrow for research,” Willow suggested, then looked away from Tara. “T-that is, if you want to,” she added quietly.

Tara looked a little surprised, before she began to smile. “I’ll be here,” she said softly, causing Willow to look up.

“You guys may want to come a little early,” Xander suggested. “Unless you’ve got clothes for little girls her size in the house.”

Dawn nodded eagerly. “I’ll take her shopping tomorrow.”

“We’ll assist,” Tara added, with another gentle smile in Willow’s direction. Willow looked hopeful.

“If that’s taken care of, I’d like to head home and…” Anya started, but was cut off by Xander.

“Relax! That’s right, relax, just the two of us, and Ahn, please don’t finish that sentence,” he said, heading off into the night.

Spike looked up the stairs, then back at Willow. “She’ll be fine,” Willow said, smiling.

He nodded. “If you need anythin’, well…”

“We know where you are. We’ll come get you if anything happens, but we’ll be fine,” Dawn said, shooing him out the door. “Bye!”

“’Night, Bit.”

He had almost made it to the end of the sidewalk when Tara came running up to him. “Somethin’ wrong?” he asked, worried.

Tara shook her head. “Stop worrying,” she said, panting slightly. “I just wanted you to walk me to my building. It’s on the way to your crypt, and being outside alone is dangerous this time of night.”

Spike’s eyes widened, before he frowned, puzzled. Glinda could defend herself well enough if someone tried to attack her. Also, she usually would’ve asked first. The tone of her voice and the words she used sounded like a command. Wordlessly he nodded, walking by her side.

As they headed towards her building, she said softly, “I know.”

Now he was even more confused. “Glinda, try and explain things in…less simple terms,” he said, looking over at her.

She glanced up at him, and Spike was surprised to see a sad look in her eyes. “I know about you and Buffy. What you’ve been doing,” she said, turning slightly red.

“What we’ve…” Spike stopped walking. Tara stopped as well, turning to stare at him.

“Buffy told me,” she said, answering his unspoken question. “She wanted to know if there was something wrong with her. She kept telling me that she’d come back wrong.”

Spike cringed as his own words came back at him. “She didn’t,” he started, but Tara cut him off.

“I know that. I did a few tests, and Buffy came back as Buffy, with only a few DNA changes. She’s still Buffy, but the small changes were enough for your chip to not recognize her anymore. She didn’t believe me when I told her, and that’s when she broke down and told me.”

“How much?” he asked, not knowing whether this was a good thing or not.

“Everything.”

Spike swallowed. “Oh,” was all he managed to say. When he finally managed to look up and meet her eyes, he saw nothing but kindness in them.

Tara smiled sadly. “The secret would’ve killed her, Spike. She had to tell someone. I was that someone. I haven’t told anyone else. I had hoped she would’ve, or maybe you would’ve.”

“I was thinkin’ ‘bout it myself,” Spike admitted. “If I’d said it first, though, and Buffy had denied it…let’s just say I would’ve been dust in the wind.”

She nodded. “I understand. I think telling me made it more real, and she realized what she had to do, so she broke up with you.”

He chuckled bitterly. “She tell you? How long did you party?”

“Spike, please understand this: she _had_ to break up with you. It would’ve eventually harmed, if not killed, you both. It was already doing some damage, and I don’t just mean physically.”

He looked down at the ground. He knew what she was saying was true; he just didn’t want to admit it.

“She didn’t come home and celebrate, either.” Spike lifted his head at her words, looking confused. “She didn’t tell me, even though I was there, and no one else was.”

She looked him straight in the eyes and said calmly, “She went upstairs, locked herself in her room, and sobbed. _That’s_ when I knew she’d finally told you.”

He could feel tears stinging his eyes, but refused to let them out. “Why are you tellin’ me all this?” he asked, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve.

“Because young children are very impressionable.”

“And? That’s it?”

Tara gave him a knowing look, and Spike’s eyes widened as he understood what she was getting at. “Don’t blow it this time,” she said, walking into the darkness.

“Don’t you want me to walk you all the way?” he called.

He could hear her laughter, and it reminded him of sunshine. “Spike, I can take care of myself. Don’t worry about me. Worry about your tomorrow.”

Spike grinned as he watched her disappear. He had his second chance with Buffy. Here was the best time to fix things between them. He could show her, show them, that he could be a better man.

Still grinning, he turned and headed towards his crypt.

 

< \--- >

 

She ran through the cemetery, chasing after the vampire. She wouldn’t let him get away this time.

“Spike!” she yelled. “Hurry up!”

She didn’t bother looking behind her; she knew Spike would be right behind her. Surprisingly, however, he didn’t make a sarcastic comment. Odd.

She jumped on the vampire in front of her and pulled out her stake. “Meet the Slayer,” she said, staking him.

She turned when she realized he was dust. “That’s it?” she asked.

“Not exactly,” a voice said from behind her.

She turned just in time to see Spike grab her shoulders. “What do you want, you undead roach?” she said, trying to squirm out of his grasp.

For some reason, her Slayer strength was failing her right then. Spike winced at her words. “I can be a better man,” he said, still not letting her go. “Let me prove it to you.”

“Let go of me!” she yelled, kicking him. He fell to the ground, moaning in pain. She turned to walk away, shrieking as the jaws closed around her.

Buffy gasped and sat up in the big bed. She bit her bottom lip so she didn’t scream. The room was so dark, and the shadows were odd shaped. Scary looking, too. Mommy always left a nightlight on. She knows how scared Buffy can get. Where is she?

Then Buffy remembered. She’d been walking in the cemetery, for some reason, when she’d tripped over a root. When she’d gotten up, the world had seemed lots bigger. That’s when the monsters had attacked.

Spike had saved her, and had taken her to Dawn’s house. She had talked to Dawn about her favorite colors, and had embarrassed herself when she couldn’t say them. But…it was strange. No one had made fun of her.

These people were nicer then her friends back home. She liked Spike, even though he talked funny.

Her bottom lip trembled as she thought about her dream. She’d been so mean to him. She didn’t know why, either. She hoped he wasn’t mad at her.

And why was she a Slayer? What _was_ a Slayer?

Whimpering, she laid back on the pillows and wished for morning to come quicker.

 

< \--- >

 

Willow smiled as a sleepy-eyed Buffy stumbled into the kitchen the next morning. “Hey there,” she said, kneeling in front of the little girl. “Did you sleep well?”

Buffy rubbed the sleep from her eyes, before nodding with a big smile. “I dreamt of kitties!”

Willow laughed. “Kitties, huh? Well, how about some breakfast? I can make pancakes. Do you like pancakes?”

Buffy nodded eagerly. “With lotsa surryup!”

Willow had to turn so Buffy wouldn’t see her laughing. “I think I can arrange that,” she said, when she’d calmed down enough to talk. “We get to go shopping afterwards for clothes. Does that sound good?”

Dawn came downstairs, almost bumping into a jumping Buffy. “What’s with the hyper energy here?” she asked, laughing.

“We’re gonna go shopping!”

Dawn winked at Willow. “Really? That’s great!”

Xander hurried in the front door, letting Spike in after him. Spike quickly stomped on his burning blanket and looked around. “Mornin’, Nibblet,” he said, grinning at Dawn.

“Nice entrance,” she replied, giggling.

“Do either of you want pancakes?” Willow asked. Both men nodded and Willow set about making more.

Spike looked around until a glimmer of gold caught his attention. Ah, there she was; smiling and laughing. He walked over and smiled at Buffy. She was wearing one of older Buffy’s t-shirts, which made a perfect sleep shirt.

“Mornin’ pet,” he said. To his surprise, she stopped laughing, bit her lip and looked down.

“What’s wrong?” he coaxed, frowning slightly. She seemed upset.

“I…well…um…” She kept her eyes on the floor, her hands fidgeting in front of her.

“You can tell me,” he said, smiling at her. “M’not gonna get mad, promise. Tell Spike what’s wrong.”

She looked up then, and Spike was shocked to see tears in her eyes. “You’re…not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?” he asked, more perplexed then ever.

She was about to answer when it dawned on her that it had been a dream. It hadn’t been real. She was stupid to think it was. “Nothing,” she mumbled. She felt her face flame as she realized everyone had grown quiet and were now staring at the two. She looked down, feeling utterly embarrassed. The tears that had been held back were now freely flowing down her face, as she stared at her fidgeting hands, frustrated with herself.

When she’d mumbled her answer, Spike had turned and stared questioningly at everyone else. They’d all shrugged, just as puzzled as he was.

He turned back and was stunned to see her crying. Her lower lip would straighten out, then tremble as she fought to stop the tears.

He pulled her into his arms and just held her. He rubbed circles on her back, hoping it would calm her.

It did. The drops he felt on his neck soon stopped, but he continued to hold her after she’d finished crying. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he murmured.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears stinging her eyes again. She pulled away, sniffling, trying to dry her eyes. “Sh-shouldn’t cry.”

Spike wiped away a few stray tears. “Nonsense; there’s nothin’ wrong with cryin’, pet.”

Buffy shook her head sadly. “Only b-babies cry,” she said, as if it were the gospel truth.

“Who told you that?” Willow asked, frowning.

Buffy looked up, surprised, as she had forgotten about the others in the room. “The kids at school.”

“Oh, your friends?” Dawn asked, smiling.

“Nuh uh,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “They don’t wanna be my friend. They always say I’m a…a…” She bit her lip again.

“Ya know, you can hurt your lip if you keep doing that,” Xander commented, then softened his voice. “What do they call you?”

Buffy mumbled something under her breath. Spike frowned and leaned forward slightly. Even with his vampire hearing, he hadn’t picked that one up. “Say that again, kitten,” he said, pleased when she giggled.

“M’not a kitten, I’m a girl, silly,” she said, before her smile faded. “It’s a…a…” Her mouth twisted a few times before she said, “’Lellow-belly.”

“A yellow-belly?” Dawn translated. Buffy nodded sadly. “Do you know what that is?”

Buffy nodded again. “’Fraidy-cat.”

Spike wrapped her in his arms, the urge to kill someone stronger then ever. His Slayer, afraid? Not a chance. This was his Buffy they were talking about. “Don’t listen to them, sweetie. Just mean lil’ brats.”

“They’re right, though,” Buffy said, looking ashamed. “M’scared of everything.”

Okay, when she actually admitted it, it was a little harder to argue with. The others were apparently facing the same predicament.

Dawn snapped her fingers, pulling everyone from their thoughts. “You’re scared of everything, right?”

Buffy nodded, looking glum.

“That can’t be true. Are you scared of Spike?”

Spike began to smile when he realized what Dawn was on to. Thank you, Nibblet! “No,” Buffy said slowly.

“Why not? He’s a vampire. See? Show her, Spike.”

Spike nodded and switched into game face. Buffy just looked at him, before giggling. “Your face is all bumpy.”

“See? He’s got fangs, though. Sharp, toothy fangs! Aren’t you scared?” Dawn said, as Spike growled, demonstrating said fangs.

Buffy just giggled more. “I think they’re cute.”

Spike immediately switched back into human face, looking upset. “I’m _cute_?” he complained, mock-glaring at Buffy. Buffy only laughed more.

“There goes my ego,” he muttered, before breaking into laughter himself. Her happiness was contagious, and soon the whole kitchen was full of the sound of laughing.

“So see? You’re not scared of everything,” Dawn finished, looking pleased with herself.

Buffy, still giggling, managed to nod. “Guess not,” she said, before hugging Spike. “His fangs are like kitty teeth. Kitties are cute, so he is, too!”

Spike closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair. He continued to hug her, unaware of the sound he was emitting.

Buffy noticed, however. “He’s just a big kitty!” she exclaimed, looking up and grinning. “He’s purring, too!”

Willow raised her eyebrow. She’d read about vampires purring when they were exceedingly happy, but had never heard it before. Buffy was right; he sounded like one big, happy cat. It was cute.

Spike grinned. “Guess I am, aren’t I? Red, don’t forget ‘bout breakfast.”

“Breakfast? OH!” Willow yelped, hurrying back to the pancakes.

 

< \--- >

 

When the four women returned later, Anya had joined the group. Buffy waltzed in, then spun around, showing off her new attire. The Scoobies ‘ooooo’ed and ‘ahhhh’ed appropriately.

“We got lotsa stuff!” Buffy said, beaming.

“What color was the hat we got?” Tara asked, setting a bag down on the ground.

Buffy paused, then looked around the room, biting her lip again. “No more lip biting,” Xander admonished, before smiling. “C’mon, give it a try.”

Buffy glanced over at Spike, her eyes seeking…approval? Spike gave her a smile and nodded. “Go ahead, kitten.”

“Ya,” Tara said, sounding out the letter ‘y’.

“Ya!” Buffy repeated with a grin.

“Good! Now, yellow,” Tara said, saying the word slowly.

“Ya…ya…ya-‘lellow!” Her face fell as she said the word incorrectly again.

Spike smiled at her. “Don’t worry ‘bout it; you’ll get it.”

Buffy looked up, hopeful. “Really?”

“Really.” Spike watched as her smile rose again.

“Okay! Can we have pizza for dinner?”

Willow laughed. “What do you want on it?”

“Hmmm…how ‘bout pep’roni, and cheese, and…and lotsa garlic sauce!” She stopped, then turned to Spike, frowning. She turned back to Willow and said, “Just pep’roni and cheese.”

“You sure about the garlic sauce?” Willow said, looking puzzled. “We can put anything you want on it.”

“That’s okay,” Buffy said, before tugging Willow’s hand. When Willow leaned down, Buffy whispered in her ear, “Spike’s a vampire, silly. Doncha know: all vampires are ‘llergic to garlic!”

Willow nodded sagely, then looked up at Spike, who had heard it all. He was smiling slightly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Spike couldn’t believe that she’d actually thought about him. She had actually given up something because she’d thought about him first. It didn’t matter that it was something small like garlic sauce on a pizza; she had still thought about it and put him first. He was soaring on Cloud 9.

“Wanna come help me, Buff?” Xander asked, hurrying off towards the phone.

“Yeah! And…you called me Buff,” she said, slowing to a halt.

“Um, yeah? What’s the matter?” he asked, turning around.

“You…you gave me a nickname. Does that mean th-that we’re friends?”

Spike looked at the bewildered looks on the women’s faces, then at Xander, then back at Buffy. She was biting her lip again, looking downcast.

“Of course we’re friends!” Xander said, bending down in front of her. “We’re all your friends.”

Buffy looked around at the nodding heads, her eyes once again landing on Spike. Why did she always do that, like she wanted assurance from him and him only? “He couldn’t be more right, pet.”

Spike could’ve sworn her eyes lit up. “Okay,” she said, then giggled. “Okay! I’ve got friends!”

With that, she danced off, twirling and spinning in her new dress.

“Anyone care to strangle a few little kids?” Xander said, as everyone exchanged looks.

Almost everyone’s hands went up, except for one person… “Spike?!” Dawn said, staring at him like he was crazy.

“Would’ve thought that you would’ve been the first person to answer to that call,” Anya said.

Spike shook his head, frowning slightly. “Can’t place my finger on it, but I don’t think it’s the kids. Somethin’ else entirely that’s makin’ this problem. And I mean to find out what it is.”

  
< \--- >

 

She was running again. She was always running.

“Spike, c’mon, I told you to lay off!”

“What’s the matter, pet? Please, talk to me. I love…”

She turned around, glaring. “NO! You can’t love. You don’t have a soul.”

Spike cringed and looked at her, tears stinging his eyes. “Buffy, please…”

“You know what? This is something I’ve needed to do for a long time.” She pulled out her stake, and swung forward.

Spike’s face went from grief-stricken to shocked in the seconds he had left. “Buffy,” he whispered, unable to believe she had actually staked him. He turned to ashes before her eyes.

She turned around, satisfied. Finally! He wouldn’t bother her anymore. She gasped as large teeth descended on her. She was surprised when they didn’t bite her, but picked her up.

As she realized where they were taking her, she wondered if being eaten was really all that bad. “NOOOOOO!!!” she screamed, as the teeth tossed her into the grave. She kept falling, her screams making her throat sore. There was no bottom….

Buffy sat up in bed, covering her mouth before she screamed. Why was she always so mean to him? Spike was her friend. She kept hurting him.

She could hear someone shifting in their bed, and froze. She couldn’t wake anyone up. She’d get into trouble.

Once she was sure she wasn’t going to scream, she laid back down, trying to calm down. “I’m sorry,” she whispered into the night, before closing her eyes.

_I’m sorry, Spike…_

 

< \--- >

 

The next two days were seemingly nothing out of the ordinary. Buffy was a part of the group now. Any time they weren’t babysitting her, they were researching. Nothing had turned up so far.

It was now Saturday, and the group was tired. They were sitting in Buffy’s living room, looking through another batch of books.

“Where’s Buffy?” Willow asked, looking up briefly from her stack.

Dawn nodded towards the left, to where Buffy was quietly playing with a few dolls in the corner.

“She’s five, and she’s so quiet,” Anya remarked. “Isn’t that odd for a child her age?”

Spike nodded, looking over at the love of his life. “Still can’t figure out what it is that’s buggin’ her. I will, though.”

Xander sighed and slammed the book he was reading closed. “That’s IT,” he said, falling back onto the sofa, “I quit.”

Everyone had turned at the sound of his loud slamming and voice, and had been about to voice their agreements when a small motion caught their eye. Everyone turned back to the corner, and realized the motion had been Buffy jumping. She wasn’t playing with her dolls anymore, either. She was just sitting there, as if waiting to hear what happened next.

“Sweetie, are you okay?” Tara asked.

Buffy jumped again, then looked over at Tara. For a split second, Spike saw nothing but terror in her wide green eyes. Then her face was all smiles. “Yep,” she said, holding up her dolls. “I named my dolls. They’re going to the park!”

“That’s cool. Are there swings and stuff?” Xander asked, his _expression slightly cloudy. The other Scoobies looked the same. So he hadn’t been the only one to pick up on her fear, Spike mused.

Buffy nodded. “Of course! I like the swings, but I don’t like to go too high. I get scared ‘cause I might fall off.”

“What about the slides?” Willow asked. “Are you scared of those, too?”

Buffy nodded emphatically. “I don’t like the slides.”

Dawn cleared her throat. “Time for bed, kiddo.”

If Buffy’s eyes had been fear-filled before, they were nothing compared to now. As she looked around at the Scoobies who were beginning to frown deeper, she smiled brilliantly. “Okay!” She waved goodbye to everyone and headed up the stairs, Dawn trailing after her.

“She looked terrified,” Willow said. “She looked really scared. It was creeping me out just looking at her face.”

Spike put his face in his hands. What could it be? He’d been over a million possible reasons for her fear. Then why couldn’t he figure this out?

Because he didn’t want to. He was scared himself. Scared of what she was afraid of. He didn’t want to know what had her crying and wide-eyed. Even if he knew what it was, he wasn’t sure he would like the answer, or be able to fix the problem. That’s what he was scared of.

  
< \--- >

 

“You ready?”

Buffy nodded. “All set!”

“Okay.” Dawn hugged her sister, then smiled as she left the room. “Good night!”

“’Night,” Buffy said, as Dawn shut the door behind her. The moment the door closed, Buffy shut her eyes tight.

She was afraid to fall asleep again. She hated those nightmares. She didn’t have nice dreams anymore. Just nasty nightmares.

That’s why, when Dawn had said it was time for bed, her heart had skipped a few beats. The others hadn’t looked happy at her face, so Buffy had smiled. She would go to bed like Dawn had asked her to. Maybe she just wouldn’t…..fall….asleep….

Within seconds she had drifted off to sleep.

 

< \--- >

 

“She’s in bed,” Dawn said, coming down the stairs. “You mind telling me what the hell is going on?”

She was reprimanded for her language, before they began to discuss it. “She didn’t give you any grief going down for the night?” Xander asked. “She looked pretty spooked when you said ‘bed’.”

“Did she say anything?” Tara asked next.

Dawn shook her head no to both. “She was all smiles when I shut the door. Just said ‘good night’; that was basically it.”

She turned to Spike, who still had his head in his hands. “You okay?” Dawn asked softly, crouching next to him.

He sighed and pulled up to look at her. “Just hate seein’ her this way, that’s all. I mean, how can this be the Buffy we all know and love? She’s got her smiles, sure, and her lil’ giggles, but she’s scared. I’ve never seen Buffy scared. Okay, a few times, yeah. Not as much as her little version.”

“I hate to admit it, but Spike’s got a point,” Xander said with a sigh. “She’s way different. And I’m not talking about age.”

“T-this could have been a side effect of the spell that made her small,” Tara offered. “It’s not likely, b-but it’s possible.”

“Just hope she’s okay,” Spike mumbled, looking miserable.

 

< \--- >

 

She was running again. “Spike! C’mon, we’re going to lose him!”

“No.”

She turned, frustrated. “What? Why not?”

Suddenly Spike wasn’t there. “Hello?” she called into the eerie blackness. The cemetery wasn’t usually this dark.

Something moved behind her, and she screamed as she recognized the teeth. They grabbed her arm and bit down. Hard. “SPIKE! Help me!!”

She screamed in pain and turned around. There he was! Wait, what the…?

“Spike?” she asked, as he finally looked up. Her eyes widened as she saw the stake pointing out of his chest.

“Why?” he asked sadly, before disappearing into fine dust.

“What? I didn’t…” She never finished as she gazed down at the stake, now firmly held by her right hand.

“No,” she whispered, realizing the thing wasn’t biting her anymore. She began to run, knowing the beast was behind her.

Run, run, run… “I didn’t kill him, I didn’t do it, I didn’t, I didn’t,” she began to mumble to herself. It soon became her mantra as she tried to outrun the beast.

She tripped. She fell headfirst into a nearby grave, and hit something soft. She looked around and realized she was in a coffin.

She looked up and saw the beast. His teeth were blood red, and he was so scary…she’d never been this scared before, whenever she patrolled. She screamed as the teeth came down on her, blood dripping everywhere, and suddenly the coffin WAS the monster, and it was grabbing at her, tearing her apart…

Buffy bolted up and couldn’t hold it in anymore. Her whole body shook as she did the only thing she could do.

She screamed.

 

< \--- >

 

Willow was about to suggest an idea when they all heard the blood-curdling scream from upstairs. Spike was the first one up, running as fast as he could for the stairs. The other Scoobies were right behind him.

He made it up in record time, and found Buffy sitting up in bed, screaming her lungs out. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and her whole body was shaking violently.

Dawn cringed at the volume of the screams and covered her ears. Her sister had a voice.

Spike ran in and grabbed her. Her eyes shot open and she screamed louder, her eyes not registering Spike.

“It’s me! Buffy, it’s me,” he yelled above the screaming. “You need to calm down and breathe, all right? Take a deep breath, and then you can keep screamin’ if you want. If you don’t take a breath now, you’re gonna pass out.”

Buffy stopped screaming and began to inhale, only to choke a couple of times. She coughed, then settled on sobbing.

Spike gathered the petite body in his arms and rocked her against him. “Shhh…it’s all right. I’ve got you,” he whispered, as she continued to cry.

She hiccuped a few times, before she began to wipe at her eyes furiously, saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” over and over again.

“What do you mean, you’re sorry?” Spike asked gently, his heart breaking into a thousand pieces at the sight.

Buffy sniffled, before she managed to choke out, “I-I’m a b-b-big girl now, a-and I sh-shouldn’t cry ‘nanymore…”

“Shhh…hey, it’s okay. I mean, he still cries, and he’s a grown man,” Spike said, jerking his head slightly over to Xander.

“Hey!” Xander complained jokingly. Buffy giggled slightly, then continued to cry into Spike’s shoulder.

“I-I s-screamed, too,” she mumbled.

“What’s wrong with that?” Dawn asked, confused.

“Woke everybody up.”

Tara shook her head. “Sweetie, we weren’t sleeping. We stay up late. It’s okay; if you need us, and we are asleep, you can always call and we’ll come. We promise.”

“Why were you screaming?” Anya asked.

Buffy looked down at her lap, before whispering, “Bad dream.”

“I get those too. They’re not nice,” Dawn started, but Buffy shook her head.

“I have bad dreams every night,” Buffy said.

Willow frowned. “Wait a minute. You’ve been telling me about your dreams. About the kittens, and unicorns? Buffy, were you lying to me?”

Buffy tried to shrink in Spike’s lap. “I’m sorry,” she sniffled.

To Buffy’s surprise, Willow came over and hugged her. “It’s okay; you can tell me the truth. I’m not gonna get mad ‘cause you had icky dreams.”

Buffy sniffled again. “Really?”

“Really,” Willow confirmed with a smile.

Spike shifted her so he was looking Buffy in the eye, then asked quietly, “What do you dream about?”

He had almost expected the tears that started up again. “I…I’m…”

“Sorry, we know,” Spike said, smiling. “You don’t have to be. We’re your friends, kitten. Just tell us what’s wrong, and we’ll try and fix it, ‘kay?”

Buffy nodded. “’Kay.” She took two shuddering breaths before continuing. “I-I dream ‘bout being big. Like I’m all growed up. I’m a Slayer.”

Spike’s eyes widened. She dreamt Slayer dreams? He looked up at everyone’s panic-stricken faces. Oh, no…

“What’s a Slayer?” she asked, sniffling.

Dawn leaned forward before anyone could stop her and said, “It’s a girl who kills the vampires.”

“Dawn!” came the horrified gasp from Xander and Willow.

“Oh,” was all Buffy said. Spike bit his lip. How exactly would she take this?

Surprisingly, better then he thought. “Only the bad vampires, right?” she asked.

Dawn smiled and nodded. “That’s right. Only the bad ones.”

Buffy began to tear up. “Then I’m a bad Slayer, ‘cause I hurt good vampires. I-In my dream, I do.”

“How do you know if the vampire is good?” Anya asked, looking puzzled.

Tears streamed down Buffy’s face as she hiccuped, “Spike’s a good vampire, and I keep hurting him in my dreams, even though I don’t wanna, but I can’t stop growed up me, and I’m sorry Spike, I’m sorry…”

“Hush, it’s okay,” he soothed, rubbing her back. Inside he was a mess. Were they dreams of what had happened in previous years? What if she dreamed about…oh, those were memories for much older people, not children.

“Spike’s always trying to help me ‘scape from this monster,” she said. “It’s big an’ nasty, and it’s trying to throw me. He throws me in a hole, and I keep falling, and I’m so scared…”

Spike hugged her closer. He could feel tears sliding down his face, but refused to acknowledge them.

Dawn came over and wrapped her arms around her sister, whispering, “We’re here, we’re here,” over and over like a mantra. The other Scoobies joined her, but Tara was the only one who wrapped her arms around Buffy and Spike, who needed a little TLC as well.

Spike was already a mess of emotions, but when Buffy whimpered, “Mommy…” that was it. Xander took Buffy wordlessly from Spike and cradled her in his arms, while Dawn and Tara gathered the sobbing vampire in theirs.

They took him out of her room while Xander got Buffy into bed once more. “Is he going to be okay? He hasn’t cried that much since Buffy died,” Dawn whispered as the vampire collapsed onto the ground, sobs wracking his body.

Tara bit her lip. “Go get some of my poppy tincture, just in case I need to calm him down.”

Spike shook his head, as he tried to calm down. “M’fine,” he stuttered, sniffling.

“Sure?”

He looked up with glistening eyes and tried to smile. “Be fine, Bit. Promise.”

Dawn nodded, completely unconvinced. She was about to say more when Anya came out, looking slightly stressed.

“She keeps calling for Spike. Xander told me to come get you, before she cries out the ocean.”

“You up to this?” Tara asked gently.

Spike nodded. “She needs me,” he said, rising to his feet. “’Sides, think I’ll do better when I see her.”

Tara accepted that and nodded towards Buffy’s room.

Xander and Willow looked relieved when Spike entered. Buffy was crying still, and the volume was rising.

“Call me if you need anything, sweetie,” Willow said quickly, before she and Xander hurried from the room.

Spike sighed and sat down beside her. Her face was completely red and tear-stained, and her lower lip was trembling.

“What’s wrong, kitten?” he said, wrapping his arms around her.

She snuggled against him, the crying dissolving into hiccups. “I-I c-can’t sleep,” she said, wiping furiously at the tears. “Monsters keep coming f-for me. I want my mommy,” she whimpered.

Her tiny voice almost had Spike crying again, but he straightened his chin and said as steady as he could, “I know, Buffy. I know.” He pulled away slightly so he could look her in the eye and smiled sadly. “Why don’t you go to sleep, ‘kay?”

“Nooo!!” she wailed. “They’ll get me!”

“No they won’t,” Spike soothed, kissing her forehead. “I promise. I’ll protect you. Nothin’ will hurt you.”

Spike was prepared to argue, so he was shocked when she nodded, gave him one last hug, and laid down. The enormity of what she was doing wasn’t lost on him: she trusted him.

Spike kept her hand in his and tried to think of an idea. What could he do to ease her mind? Sing? Recite his bloody awful poetry? In the end, he decided to tell her stories of the glorious Slayer she would soon become. He told her how she fell in love with a vampire that was charming (he tried not to gag at the thought of Angel) and told her about the friends she met on the way.

He hadn’t even passed the point where she had dethroned the Master of all vampires when he heard a small sound. He looked over and smiled. She was even cute when she slept. Her golden hair hung around her face, and her tiny hand in his had his smile broadening. Laying a soft kiss to her forehead, he exited the room to find all the Scoobies standing anxiously at the door.

They were about to speak up when Spike shushed them. “She just got to sleep,” he hissed. “Head downstairs.”

They had barely reached the bottom step when Dawn burst out, “Is she okay?”

Spike nodded. “She’s fine. She was upset ‘cause the monsters would get her.” He frowned, the anguish on her little face still fresh in his mind. He shuddered and tried to wipe away the image.

“So you stayed with her?” Anya asked. “I hear that’s good for children.”

Spike nodded, noticing Tara’s small grin. “Yeah. Told the story of the Slayer.”

The grin disappeared. “T-The whole thing?” Tara asked cautiously.

Spike shook his head, as Xander glared at him. “Just the beginnin’ I know of. She became the Slayer, she made some friends, and fell in love with a great hero that turned out to be a vampire,” he added bitterly.

The others accepted that, and Xander stopped shooting eye-daggers at Spike. Tara didn’t seem convinced, however, and caught Spike’s eye, motioning towards the back door. He nodded and followed her out.

Once outside, she asked him quietly, “You told her about Angel?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Made him a real angel in her eyes. She didn’t even ask if he was a bad vampire,” he said, tears stinging his eyes.

Tara wrapped her arms around the vampire, and let him cry again. “You’re doing the right thing,” she consoled, letting him go.

He nodded sadly. “Know that. Just…hurts, that’s all. Maybe if his name was Lucifer, or Devil…”

Tara laughed. “Interesting idea. Love is a very confusing thing.”

“Tara?” came Willow’s voice from the house. “Where are you?”

Tara cringed. “Not everythin’ all right in your world, then?” Spike asked.

She sighed. “Not exactly. I still love her, but…I just don’t know what to do next. She’s been good about the magic, but I don’t know how long is enough. A-And I’m punishing me, too, which isn’t fair.”

“She’s been good,” Spike said. “She’s been wonderful. And she misses you. She really has. Give her a second chance, Glinda. Trust me; the wait has been worth it.”

Tara smiled. “Since you’ve listened to my advice pertaining to love, I guess it’s only fair I listen to yours. I’ll give her a second chance.”

“Atta girl,” Spike said with a grin.

“Oh, here you are,” Willow said, walking outside. “It’s awful cold out here. Wouldn’t you two like to come inside, where it’s warmer? I made hot cocoa!” she added quickly, smiling at Tara.

Spike could tell from one glance at her that Willow was a bundle of emotions herself. Red could hardly contain herself ‘round Glinda, yet she was walking on eggshells, trying to be extra careful to do just the right thing.

“I have an early class tomorrow morning,” Tara said softly.

Willow’s face fell, though she tried not to show it. “Oh, I’m sorry. I should’ve thought about that. I can get you a cup for you to take it home in,” she said, trying to smile.

“I’d rather have it here, if you don’t mind,” Tara added, a smile growing on her face.

Willow looked shocked. “But your class…”

“Can wait. This is more important.”

A thousand lights shining on her face couldn’t have lit Willow up like her smile did. She was practically glowing. “Really?” she whispered.

“Really.”

The two smiled, before Tara looked over at Spike. “You coming?”

“Why not. I’ll hang ‘round and see if the lil’ one needs me anymore tonight.”

“That was good work with her, telling her the story and all,” Willow said, grinning at him. “What better to combat her fears then to raise her courage?”

Spike nodded his agreement, and the three headed indoors. “So, you want to come to the park with us tomorrow?” Willow asked.

Spike looked at her as if she were one banana short of a bunch. “Uh, vampire, ‘member? Can’t walk in sunshine, pet.”

“We know that. I’d be w-willing to do a spell to shield you, if you want,” Tara said.

“And I could be your conduit! Oh, that is, if you’d want to,” Willow hastily amended.

Tara nodded, smiling. “I’d like that,” she said softly.

Spike smiled at the two. He was glad they were back together again. “Then I s’pose I’d be willin’ to give it a go,” he said, grinning.

“Are you staying the night?” Dawn asked, coming out on to the porch.

Spike looked surprised, before she quickly added. “You seem to be the only one that can calm her down. I just thought…well…never mind,” Dawn said, sighing.

“I’ll watch her,” Spike said softly.

Dawn looked up, a surprised smile lighting her face. “Thanks,” she said, before rolling her eyes. “My sister has a voice, and you seem to be the only one that can bring it down to a safe level.”

Spike chuckled, following the ladies in. “Ironic, isn’t it…”

 

< \--- >

 

Tara had just finished putting the shield spell on Spike when Buffy came down the stairs, rubbing at her sleepy eyes. “Hey, kitten,” he said, smiling at her. “Sleep better?”

Buffy looked up, surprised. “Aren’t vampires s’posed to be awake during the night and sleepy during the day?”

Spike chuckled and nodded. “That’s right.”

“But…you’re here, and you’re awake. How come?”

“He stayed to make sure you were okay, sweetie,” Tara said, putting away her herbs.

“You…you stayed?” Buffy said slowly.

Spike frowned but nodded. She was getting that weird look in her eyes again… “I stayed,” he said, trying to smile.

The next thing he knew, his arms were full of Buffy. “Nobody ever stays,” she whispered.

Spike looked up at Tara, whose eyes were wide with shock. _Don’t push_ , she mouthed. He nodded.

“Well, we do,” he said, pulling back. “We promise.”

Buffy smiled, then started laughing. “I’m so glad I have friends!” she said, wrapping her arms around Spike again.

“Buffy? You want waffles for breakfast?” Dawn’s voice called.

“Yeah!” Buffy said, hurrying towards the kitchen. “With lotsa surryup!”

Spike turned to Tara. “What could be wrong?” she asked, looking towards the kitchen. “It’s more then just nightmares. I’m getting seriously worried now.”

“Me too,” he said, frowning. “Me too.”

 

< \--- >

 

They arrived at the park close to noon, Buffy skipping and chatting, all the while leading the way. Spike looked up at the sun, not able to believe they’d actually done this for him. Sure, it only lasted for one day, but he would make it count. He could feel tears stinging his eyes as he looked around the playground.

“So, where do you want to play first? The swings are always fun,” Xander suggested.

“No thank you,” Buffy said suddenly. All heads whipped to see her slinking away slowly. She was no longer chatting and laughing happily.

“How about the slide, then?” Anya said. “Everyone likes slides.”

Buffy winced. “No.”

“The see-saw?” Tara asked.

“No.”

Willow looked around. “The playground?”

“No.”

“How about that little beam over there?” Dawn pleaded.

“No.”

“Why not?” Dawn demanded, getting tired of hearing that small word again and again.

“Because I’m a…a…”

“Yellow-belly?”

Buffy nodded miserably as Xander guessed.

Spike knelt down in front of her. This had to end. “What are you so afraid of, Buffy?” he asked.

She looked down. “’Fraid of falling. I’m scared of heights.”

Spike smiled at her. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, luv. I’ll catch you if you fall.”

She looked unsure. “Well…”

“We’ll back him up. You won’t touch the ground.”

Buffy looked up at Xander, then at Spike. “Promise?” she asked, biting her bottom lip.

“Promise,” he said. “Though you’ve gotta stop chewin’ that lip. Can’t be that tasty.”

Buffy stared, before she started giggling. “Okay,” she said, grinning from ear to ear. “ _I_ promise this time.”

He grinned back. “Good. Let’s tackle that beam then.”

Buffy looked over at the beam, before back at Spike. “Okay,” she said, still looking unsure.

The Scoobies headed over to the beam, which actually wasn’t that large. Dawn could’ve taken the thing in two strides, and it barely came up to Spike’s knee. But to someone as small as Buffy, it could look like the Grand Canyon, for all he knew.

He took her hand and helped her up. “Good luck,” he said, letting go of her hand.

She glanced at him, panicked. “I can’t walk across this! I need your help! I’ll fall!”

Her bottom lip began to quiver, and Spike hastened to her side. “Don’t worry, kitten. I’ll be right here. You won’t fall, I promise.”

She nodded, grimacing. She surveyed the beam’s length, took a deep breath, and began to walk across, gymnast style.

Spike stayed true to his word, matching his pace to hers, standing by her the whole time. He had his hands at his side, a smile blooming on his face.

“He really does love her, doesn’t he?”

All eyes turned to Xander with surprise. “Umm…yeah,” Dawn said, looking at him funny. “You okay?”

“He really does love her,” Xander said in awe.

Anya was about to comment somewhere along the lines of ‘duh!’ when Tara stopped her.

Buffy, meanwhile, was getting a little more confident. She began to smile as she continued across the beam. She was almost there...

She placed her right foot down, but it slipped and almost slid off the beam. The smile vanished as she fought to stay on the bar. With a small shriek she began to fall. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to see the impact.

Spike was still watching, however. With quick vampiric abilities he had her in his arms in less then two seconds.

A few moments passed before Buffy realized she hadn’t hit the ground. She peeked with her right eye, the left one still tightly shut.

She found Spike smiling down at her. “I promised you, didn’t I?”

Her eyes widened. “You caught me,” she said breathlessly.

“I always will,” he promised.

Suddenly she was laughing, and her laughter was music to his ears. He began to spin her around, eliciting more giggles from the girl. His girl. It didn’t matter if she was small or grown-up: she would always be his girl.

  
< \--- >

 

They had run around with Buffy in the field, playing tag and hide-and-seek, until they had collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily. The picnic had been spread out, and Spike had actually enjoyed himself. The whelp had even talked to him, striking up a conversation and everything. He seemed to be making an effort to be his friend. It was interesting.

Dawn sighed, rolling over to get more cookies. “So, what do you want to do next, Buffy?”

Buffy looked around, trying to make up her mind. “Ummm…”

“I still say the slide sounds good,” Anya commented.

Buffy looked over at her, horrified. “NO!” she yelled.

Everyone stopped talking and turned to her. Buffy’s face paled visibly. “M’sorry…” she said meekly, curling herself into a ball.

Spike reached over to tap her shoulder, but she flinched away at his touch. “Buffy…”

“Please…don’t…I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Tara’s eyes widened. “Oh no,” she breathed. “Oh please no.”

“Tara? What is it?” Willow asked, looking between her lover and her leader with confusion.

“I know what’s wrong,” Tara whispered.

“You do?” Dawn asked, frowning. “How?”

Tara swallowed. “Because I had to live through it for years.”

“Live through…” Willow turned ashen. “Oh no.”

“My mom never…” Dawn started.

Spike closed his eyes. No. This wasn’t possible… “You still had your dad, right, Nibblet?”

Dawn shook her head rapidly. “No. No. He wouldn’t do this!”

“Buffy, tell me what’s wrong,” Spike said gently but firmly.

Buffy looked up slowly, shaking slightly. “I ‘lelled,” she whispered.

“I know you did. Why did you get upset?” Spike asked.

Buffy winced. “I…I thought…” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “You’re not gonna punish me?”

Spike could feel his heart wrenching. “No,” he said softly. “No, I’m not. Are you usually punished if you yell?”

Slowly Buffy nodded. “Who usually punishes you?” Spike asked.

“My…my daddy,” she whispered.

From behind him, Dawn made a small noise that sounded like a strangled sob. “No, no, nonononono…” she began to mumble, as Xander held her close.

“Does he hurt you?” Tara asked. Spike looked up to see her eyes brimming with tears.

Buffy nodded, so Tara continued. “Where, sweetie?”

The little girl looked up at Spike for a nod of approval. Spike nodded slowly. Oh, how he didn’t want to know this… “He just hits my face, and tells me I’m bad,” she said.

She looked Dawn’s way and saw her shaking in Xander’s arms. In an attempt to comfort her, Buffy said, “This girl in my class, Sharon, well, her daddy punishes her worser then mine does. She must be really bad, right?” she asked, looking up at Spike.

Dawn crumpled in Xander’s arms, sobbing hysterically. Tears began to pool up in Buffy’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” she cried. “I-I didn’t mean…”

One of his girls in pain was already too much for Spike, but to have both crying at once was hell for him. Xander nodded, seemingly thinking the same thing. He escorted Dawn over to a bench, and Spike cradled Buffy in his arms, trying to soothe her.

Buffy was crying and babbling on about how she didn’t mean to upset Dawn, and she was so sorry she was making everyone cry, and she didn’t mean to yell at Anya…

Spike looked up to see Tara and Willow teary-eyed. “I should’ve known,” Tara murmured. “I should’ve known…”

Anya knelt down beside Buffy and smiled at her. “It’s okay. Yelling is a good thing.”

Buffy hiccuped and wiped her red eyes. “B-But it’s not nice. How is it a good thing?”

“It relieves tension, and makes you feel better. You’re expressing how you feel when you yell. When you yell, you’re usually upset or frightened. It’s a natural thing.”

“Don’t ever feel afraid to yell, Buffy,” Tara said suddenly. Spike looked up, surprised to see such ferocity in her eyes. “Don’t you ever.”

“But…”

“No buts. If you feel upset, or sad, or you need help, don’t be scared to yell. Promise me.”

Buffy nodded, staring up at Tara with awe. “I promise,” she whispered.

Tara smiled. “Good.”

Just then, Xander came over with Dawn by his side. Her eyes were puffy, and her face was red, but she seemed to have calmed down. “Sorry about skipping out on you guys,” she said, attempting to smile.

“Are you feeling better?” Buffy asked.

Dawn smiled and knelt down in front of her sister. “Lots better.” She wrapped her arms around Buffy and held her, her eyes glowing fiercely. “Trust me. I feel lots better.”

Spike eyed his Nibblet carefully. She looked ready to declare World War 3 on any person that tried to hurt the little one in her arms.

“Well, how about some ice cream?” Xander suggested. “Ice cream sounds good to me. Anyone else?”

Willow nodded. “An excellent suggestion. I could use a little soul-soothing about now.”

“Can I do something first?” Buffy asked tentatively.

“What’s that, kitten?”

“I wanna go down the slide.”

Silence. Spike looked around at the shocked faces. “You sure?” he asked her quietly.

Buffy nodded, standing up with Dawn. “I’m not a…a…”

“Yellow-belly?”

Buffy nodded her thanks to Anya. “That. I’m gonna go down the slide. The really tall one.”

Spike nodded, standing. “Then let’s go.”

Buffy walked solemnly the entire way there. The other kids were too busy on the swings and the play structure to notice. The slide was all hers.

She swallowed, then began to climb the ladder. About halfway up, she started shaking. “How about we just forget the slide and go get some ice cream?” Xander suggested.

Buffy glared. “No. I gotta do this.”

Xander raised his eyebrows. “Right. Guess her attitude didn’t change much,” he muttered under his breath.

She made it to the top and looked down. She couldn’t even see the outside at the bottom, the slide was so huge. Did she really want to do this?

“Spike?” she called, her tiny voice echoing as she peered into the plastic tube.

“Yeah, pet?”

She poked her head out to stare at him, looking panicked. “Would you slide down with me?”

Spike smiled. “I’m comin’ up.”

He knew the gang was probably giggling at the sight of the Big Bad turned so domestic over one little girl, but he didn’t care. He loved that little girl.

He pulled himself up and sat down behind her. “Hold on tight,” she said.

“I promise,” he replied, when it suddenly hit him. He loved her. He loved big and bad Buffy, when she was the Slayer, and he loved little Buffy, whose smile was big enough to light up the sun. He loved them both.

“Ready?” he asked.

She nodded. “Ready.”

Grinning, he grabbed the top of the slide and pushed. The two began to slide towards the bottom.

The gang watched as Buffy came out of the slide, shrieking. Spike sat right behind her, his arms wrapped around her protectively. Nevertheless, he was grinning at her, amused.

Buffy opened her eyes cautiously and looked around. “See? You made it,” Spike said, still grinning.

Buffy looked up at him, then at the others. The next thing Spike knew, she had jumped out of his arms and was running around to the other side of the slide. “What are you doing?” he asked, bewildered.

“I wanna go again!”

His laughter could be heard all throughout the park.

 

< \--- >

 

Spike smiled at Buffy, whose face now consisted of three different ice cream flavors. They had ridden the slide multiple times, until she had finally asked Spike to stop following her, and she had gone by herself. Spike had barely stifled his laughter at the look of exasperation on her face. She had gone on and slid down herself many more times, backwards, forwards, upside-down.

She was laughing again; Xander was telling her some joke. “Having fun?” Tara asked from behind him.

He swiveled around and raised his eyebrow. “What do you think? I’m out in the sun for the first time in a century, well, if ya don’t count the ring, and…” He looked over at Buffy again, and couldn’t help but smile.

“With her?” Tara finished.

“Yeah,” he said absently. “I love her.”

“We know that, sweetie.”

Spike spun around. “You…”

Tara nodded. “Xander actually saw it and admitted it first. At the park? We all just agreed with him.”

Tara almost giggled when she saw him look down shyly. “Well, I…”

“We know that you love her. It’s okay. Xander’s even okay with it. That’s why this was so important before the other stuff was brought up.”

Spike sighed and nodded. “I know.”

“Aren’t you having fun?” Tara asked.

Spike grinned. “I’m havin’ a blast with lil’ Buffy. Just…miss the grown-up version, too.”

“We all do. We’ll do more research tonight.”

Spike nodded. “Ready to head back, kitten?” he called over his shoulder to Buffy. When he got no response, he frowned and turned around. “Buffy?”

His frown disappeared as he found her laying on the grass, sound asleep. “I think we tired her out,” Willow said, giggling.

“Hey, we got back at her! She always tires US out with her slaying and stuff,” Xander commented.

Spike gathered her in his arms, careful not to wake her. With their sleeping Slayer safely secured (say that 3 times fast), the Scoobies headed for home.

 

< \--- >

 

“Have you found the Slayer?”

“Not yet, sir. She’s vanished completely. The others are starting to think she died or something.”

“What about her friends?”

“No action there, either. None have patrolled for a few nights now.”

“Interesting. Very interesting.”

“Sir? What should we do?”

The vampire stood, his height enabling him to tower over the fledgling. “Continue searching,” he said, “but be cautious. This could be a trap.”

“Yes, sir.”

 

< \--- >

 

Buffy slept for another two hours after they’d reached the house. She came down, bright-eyed and ready to run around some more, just as the gang had finished another stack of books.

“What are you reading?” Buffy asked, crawling up onto the couch and into Spike’s lap.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. “Magical things.”

Her eyes widened. “No way. Really?” she asked, turning to Tara for confirmation.

“Yep. Magic spells, the histories of magic, but,” she sighed, “not what we’re looking for.”

“What _are_ you looking for?”

“A spell to make you big again,” Dawn said simply, in response to Buffy’s question.

“DAWN!!”

“What? I think she deserves to know the truth,” Dawn said, grinning at the glares she was getting from the entire group.

“Big?” Buffy asked.

Spike sighed. If Dawn had already spilled… “See, this year, you were s’posed to be…Willow’s age,” he said carefully.

Her eyes widened even more, if that was possible. “ _REALLY?!?_ ” she asked, jaw hanging open. “Neat!!”

Everyone released a huge sigh of relief. She hadn’t second-guessed it. She’d been okay with it.

“And I’m the Slayer,” she said with pride.

She caught on quick, too. “That’s right,” Tara said, smiling. “You’re the Slayer, who takes care of the bad vampires,” she said, enunciating the ‘bad’ part.

“Wow.” Buffy stood in awe, until she frowned, realizing something. “How come I’m tiny, then?”

“We don’t know, sweetie,” Willow said, reaching for another book. “That’s why we’re reading. We’re trying to find a way to get you back to being big again.”

“Oh. Okay!” Buffy said, with a big smile.

 _She’s incredible_ , was all Spike could think. _Bloody incredible_. “Can I help?” she asked. “I can’t read, but I could find pictures of a person getting smaller!”

Dawn grinned and winked at the others. “Sure thing,” she said, handing her a book that read, “Fairy-tales for Children”.

Buffy took the book solemnly and proceeded to visit each picture intently, searching for a meaning. The others went back to their real research, until it was time for Buffy to go to bed.

“Can I stay up more?” Buffy said, as Dawn headed for the staircase.

“Nope! Bed-time, move it!” Dawn said, smiling at her sister.

But her sister wasn’t grinning back. “Please?” she said, her eyes open wide with fear. “I don’t want…I…I can’t…”

Spike quickly knelt down beside her to stop an impending burst of fear. “S’all right, pet,” he said. “I’ll tell you some more of that story, ‘kay?”

“’Kay,” she said, hurrying towards the stairs. The others stared at Spike, as he followed her up.

“Did he just…?”

“Get her to bed? Sure did,” Dawn said, in response to Xander’s half question.

“That’s incredible!” Xander sputtered.

While the others nodded, Tara gazed at the stairs, knowing that Spike would continue the story of the amazing Slayer and the vampire Angel. She knew it had to hurt so much to tell her the tale.

“Yes, it is,” she murmured, thinking of Spike.

 

< \--- >

 

“You called for me, sir?”

“Yes I did. I want you to find out about the Slayer, and what’s happened to her. This is too long a pause for her. Head to her house, and use whatever means necessary to find out what’s going on.”

“Yes sir.” The fledgling bowed with respect to the elder and quickly hurried away.

 

< \--- >

 

“So the Slayer was ‘bout to get in trouble with her mum when suddenly, a black figure crashed through the window. It was a vampire! It looked up at her and grinned, and…”

“It was you,” Buffy said suddenly.

Spike stopped and looked at her. “What did you say?” he said slowly.

“It was you,” she said breathlessly. “Wasn’t it?”

Spike almost sighed. So she hadn’t remembered. “That’s right, it was me,” he said, attempting to smile. How stupid he had been! What had he been thinking? That he, of all things, would bring her back to her normal self, memories and all?

“I sound like a hero,” she said sadly.

“Well, it’s ‘cause you are, pet,” he said, smiling at her.

“How can I be a hero, though?” she asked. “Heroes aren’t scared of nothin’!”

Spike chuckled and sat down beside her on her bed. “Let me tell you somethin’, kitten. Heroes are always afraid. They’d be stupid not to be.”

“That’s not true!” she said, frowning. “They’ll fight anything to save the world!”

“Doesn’t mean they’re not shakin’ in their boots the whole time. Hey, wait for me to finish, all right?” he said, interrupting whatever she had been about to say. She nodded and waited for him to continue.

“See, there’s two types of people. There’s your regular blokes, and then there’s heroes. Both can laugh, have a good time, and both definitely get scared.”

Buffy looked like she wanted to object, but she stayed silent.

“Heroes get scared all the time, but see, here’s the funny thing. While normal people run away when they’re scared, heroes will stay. Even if they’re terrified, they’ll still do what’s right. No matter what. And that’s what makes them a hero.”

Suddenly the bedroom window shattered. Buffy screamed as Spike dove to cover her. Glass flew everywhere as he desperately pulled the covers over both of them.

“Are you all right, Buffy?” Spike asked, panicked.

She nodded, terrified. “Y-You’re bleeding,” she said, her voice shaky. She touched his forehead and he winced, realizing that a shard had caught his skin.

“It’ll heal, don’t worry,” he said, before the voices outside caught his attention.

“C’mon out, Slayer!”

“Yeah, we know you’re in there.”

“We just want to talk!” Snickering.

“T-They want me?” Buffy asked, looking terrified.

Spike nodded, hearing the Scoobies grabbing weapons from the downstairs chest. “They won’t get you, though,” he snarled. “Trust me.”

He wrapped the blanket around her, making sure she was covered, and lifted her into his arms. As fast as he could, he hurried out to the hallway and ducked into the hall closet.

“Promise me that you’ll stay here, no matter what,” Spike said, looking her in the eye.

“I promise,” Buffy said solemnly. “Wait,” she said, her eyes filling with fear. “Are you leaving me?”

“Only for a bit, kitten. I’ll be back, I promise.” He kissed the top of her head, then hurried out, closing the door behind him. He had Scoobies to find.

He ran down the stairs and found them armed to the teeth about to step outside. “They’re just vampires, right?” Dawn was saying.

She shrieked as they came through the front window. “Wrong!” Spike yelled, jumping on top of the demon. “Nibblet, run!”

She did, but not in the direction he thought she would. With a roar she lunged at the demon, and speared it through with her sword. “Ewww! That was my favorite sweater!” she complained, dropping the sword to deal with her fashion crisis.

Spike took care of two more that tried to get through, and Xander knocked out one before they came in from the front door. Three of them looked at each other, before roaring something that sounded like, “Mashkar!” and heading for the stairs.

“NO!!” Willow screamed, heading for the stairs.

“What did they say?” Dawn asked, pulling the sword out.

“Roughly translated, ‘Slayer’,” Anya said, slicing a demon through with her axe.

Tara and Spike exchanged glances, before running after Willow. They found her trying to pull the three demons back off the stairs. “I…said…NO!” she yelled, before the demon in back kicked her. She cried out and tumbled down the last five stairs, hitting the floor with a thud.

“WILLOW!!” Tara screamed, running for her lover.

“RED! Are you…”

“Spike, go,” Willow said weakly. “They’ll kill her.”

Seeing as how Tara had Willow taken care of, Spike ran up the stairs as fast as he could. He switched into game face and growled, turning to view the hallway.

Buffy was being pulled from the closet, her arms secured by the demons. The third demon pulled his hand back, revealing long, sharp, and deadly claws. Buffy whimpered, tears running down her face, her eyes widening as she caught sight of the long nails. “Please d-don’t hurt me…” she pleaded.

The demon cackled and pulled back his arm to strike her. With a feral roar Spike jumped forward to assault the demon.

The demon turned, growled, and struck out at Spike. Buffy screamed as she was tossed backwards, the other two demons joining the fight.

But they didn’t stand a chance. Spike’s rage kept him going, and before he knew it, three very dead corpses were gathered at his feet, bloody and torn.

He turned to Buffy, who was still screaming. “Buffy, it’s okay,” he said, trying to calm her, but she continued screaming. “What’s wrong?” he asked, searching her fear-filled eyes frantically.

Then he knew. He pulled out of game face, and hurried down the stairs, leaving her gasping for air. He ignored the Scoobies and ran out what was left of the front door, tears pooling in his eyes.

She had been screaming because of him. Because he had let loose his inner demon, and she had seen it. Hadn’t Tara tried to warn him that little children were very impressionable? And he’d just blown it. Blown whatever chance he may have had with Buffy, big or small.

 

< \--- >

 

Spike was about to open his bottle of whiskey when he felt a heartbeat enter his crypt. He whirled around and found Tara standing there. She jumped slightly, looking startled.

“So Buffy’s not the only one terrified of me.” He began to chuckle bitterly. “Just when I don’t want to be the Big Bad. Ironic, isn’t it?”

“Spike, you have to go back to the house.”

Spike glared at her. “Why? Go back and be shouted out ‘cause I made her cry? Well, I’m sorry, but…”

Tara cut him off. “She was screaming because of your face.”

“She’s seen my game face, though,” he said, confused. “Why would now make any difference?”

Gingerly, Tara touched her hand to his face. Instantly, he felt pain flood through his face. He cried out, falling to his knees.

Tara caught him. “You’re a bloody mess,” she said, faking an English accent. He smiled weakly.

“That was pathetic, pet.”

“For your benefit, not mine.”

A pause. “How bad does it look?” he asked.

“Spike, your entire face is covered in blood,” she said, “and it’s darker over on this side. You look horrid.”

“So she…”

“Wasn’t scared of you. She managed to calm down enough to tell us that.”

Spike bit his lip. “Great. So I’ve messed things up royally, huh?”

“One, don’t start her habit of lip-biting. Two, no, you haven’t. She was looking for you. She was really worried. Thus the reason of my earlier statement: you have to go back to the house.”

Spike nodded, feeling miserable. And he’d just left her there, too, after telling her that he’d never leave her.

“Let’s get you cleaned up as best as possible first, okay?” Tara said softly.

 

< \--- >

 

When Spike had walked back into the house, Dawn had gasped, Anya’s eyes had widened, and even Xander had looked sympathetic. Seated on the sofa next to Willow was Buffy, her eyes on the ground.

Tara closed the door loudly behind her, catching Buffy’s attention. She looked up, and stared at Spike.

Spike sighed and looked down. “Buffy, I’m so sor…”

With a yelp of indignation he was tackled to the ground, Buffy’s arms wrapped around him. “Are you okay?” she asked, looking worried.

“M’fine kitten, don’t worry,” he said, smiling. He cringed as the smile required certain sore muscles to work.

“They hurt you,” she said, looking sad. “All ‘cause of me. If I hadn’t screamed, you wouldn’t have come to rescue me. I’m…”

“Sorry, we know,” Dawn, Anya, and Willow chorused.

Buffy looked surprised as they answered for her, and Spike couldn’t help but laugh at the look on her face. “It’s all right, luv. It wasn’t your fault. Nobody hurts my girl.”

Buffy looked back at him, a smile growing on her face. “Really?”

Spike nodded. “I’ll always protect you.”

With a squeal of delight Buffy threw her arms around him. (An interesting feat, considering he was on the floor.) “Thank you for being my friend,” she whispered.

Willow could’ve sworn Spike was crying tears of joy as he held her in his arms.

 

< \--- >

 

The next morning, Spike hurried into the house, trying to avoid being burned. He was greeted by a happy Buffy.

“Hi Spike!” she said, twirling in her yellow outfit.

He grinned. “Hello, kitten. Nice attire.”

“Thanks!” she said, her smile broadening.

“What’s the color?” Tara asked, coming into the foyer.

Buffy took a deep breath and closed her eyes, concentrating. “Ya…ya…ya’lellow!” She stomped her foot and bit her lip as she said the word incorrectly once more.

“Hey, you almost had it,” Spike encouraged. “Don’t give up.”

“I’ll never get it,” she mumbled.

“Not true,” Spike said firmly. “You just wait, kitten. I bet you anythin’ that you’ll have it by tomorrow.”

“Really?” she asked, looking up.

He grinned. “Really. Go on and eat; I smell Red cookin’ again.”

“She’s making pancakes!” Buffy offered enthusiastically. “With lotsa surryup!” She turned and danced away.

Tara and Spike had to hide their giggles. “Surryup?” Tara asked.

“She says it all the time,” Willow said, coming into the room. “I’m afraid to laugh when she says it, but I can’t help grinning! It’s just the way she says it.”

Dawn came down the stairs and smiled at her sister eating pancakes at the table. “I’m really enjoying being the big sister. But…I miss being the little sister, too,” she admitted. “I wish I could have big AND little Buffy.” Her eyes widened, and she looked at Tara hopefully. “Is that possible?”

“Dawn Summers!”

“I know, I know, Willow.” She rolled her eyes.

Spike turned to Willow, his _expression cloudy. “Did you get a chance to research those demons from last night?” he asked as Xander and Anya came in.

Willow nodded, then indicated that they take the conversation to the living room. Once there, she said softly, “They were contract demons. Someone hired them.”

“But who would be stupid enough to attack a Slayer?” Anya asked, puzzled.

“She’s not exactly much of a threat now,” Dawn joked.

There was silence as the group realized the truth in her words. “Someone knows?” Tara whispered.

“Maybe the very same someone who made her tiny,” Xander commented.

“So someone…wanted her tiny? But she’s helpless like…oh,” Dawn said, the concept kicking in.

Spike felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. “I don’t like this,” he said. “Not likin’ this at all.”

“If that’s the way it’s being played…”

“Then someone wants her dead,” Tara finished for Willow. “Very, very badly.”

Xander shuddered. “What do we do?”

“We get big Buffy back,” Willow said, a fire in her eyes. “Now.”

 

< \--- >

 

Two hours later found them sorting through the more powerful magic books in the Magic Box. Buffy was playing with her dolls in the back corner, still quiet as always.

Xander sighed and closed another book. “Two more down, no luck.”

Dawn nodded. “Sorry captain, nothing to report in these, either.”

“Giles might know something…” Anya started, but was quickly glared down by the others.

“We are NOT calling him,” Willow hissed. “He’ll kill me! And I didn’t do anything,” she quickly added for everyone’s benefit.

“He’ll probably have a heart attack,” Dawn agreed.

“Buffy, sweetie, are you sure you’re okay?” Tara asked.

Buffy jumped slightly, then turned, smiling at the others. “I’m ‘kay Tara, don’t worry. I like playing with my dollies!”

“Yes, but you’re so quiet,” Anya stated. “Most children aren’t.”

Buffy shrugged. “I’m not s’posed to be noisy. It gives peoples headaches.”

“I’m sure,” Spike muttered, wishing he could pummel her father.

“As long as you’re having fun,” Willow said sweetly, kicking Spike in the shins. He yelped and looked at her, as she mouthed, “Don’t start”. He glared at her and rubbed his tender leg.

“Can I help?” Buffy asked, standing and heading towards the table.

“Nope, that’s okay,” Dawn said, going back to her books.

Buffy looked puzzled. “Whatcha looking for?”

“A way to make you big again,” Anya said, reaching for another book.

Buffy bit her lip. “Oh.”

Spike frowned. What was wrong now? “We need to make you big again really soon,” he said. “Got a problem, and big you can take care of it.”

“I could help,” Buffy offered, looking hopeful.

Tara shook her head. “This is a job for big people.”

Buffy looked down at the floor. “Right. ‘Cause I’m a ‘lellow-belly, right?”

“We weren’t saying that…” Willow started.

Buffy looked up and glared. “You guys just wanna get rid of me. You don’t want me, and you’re not my friends.”

Spike rolled his eyes. Now this was the Buffy he knew so very well. “And what makes you say that?” he said, pursing his lips.

“’Cause _real_ friends would want me to stay, and not try to get rid of me so bad!”

“That’s not true!” Dawn said in their defense.

“Yeah it is! You’re all a bunch of meanies, and I don’t wanna be ‘round meanies ‘nanymore! ‘Specially icky vampires,” she said.

Spike jumped to his feet. “Yeah? What makes you think we want to hang ‘round a lil’ brat like you?” he said angrily.

“I hate you!” Buffy yelled, stalking off to the back room.

“Feelin’s mutual, trust me!” Spike yelled after her.

Buffy turned around, stuck her tongue out at him, and slammed the door as hard as she could.

Spike sat down in his chair, scowling at the floor.

Silence descended on the shop. “Well, that went well,” Xander joked weakly, as Willow glared at Spike.

“I thought this was supposed to fix things between you two!” she hissed.

“Yeah, well, maybe I don’t wanna fix things with the Slayer. Maybe I hate her guts now!”

“Or maybe you’re just really mad and should sit down, before you say something else you’ll regret,” Tara said quietly.

Spike stared at her, before sighing and burying his head in his hands. “Well, what am I s’posed to do?”

“Keep looking for that spell,” Dawn said. “Let Buffy pout and sulk like a normal child. She’ll get over it, trust me.”

 

< \--- >

 

Buffy ‘hmph’d and sat down on a small crate, crossing her arms and sulking. Spike had said he hated her. She wiped away the tears furiously as she looked around the room.

Noises from the shop caught her attention, and she assumed they were talking about her. She’d been really mean to Spike. He probably did hate her, and didn’t want to be her friend anymore. None of them would, anymore.

They wouldn’t want to see her again, either. Then what was she supposed to do? A picture of her mom flashed through her mind, and she smiled. Her mommy. Wasn’t Buffy supposed to be looking for her?

She couldn’t be far. Buffy stood and started towards the back door, then turned towards the shop. “I’m really sorry, Spike,” she whispered, before heading out to find her mom.

 

< \--- >

 

Xander sighed. “Spike, _please_ stop going in circles. You’re driving me up the wall.”

“Correction: driving all of us up the wall. Look, why don’t you just go…”

“Talk to her? Nibblet, I can’t.”

“And why not?” Dawn asked, giving him a look.

Spike sighed, stopping his pacing. “’Cause…she hates me now. That’s why.”

“She doesn’t hate you, Spike,” Tara said. “She was just angry. That’s all.”

Spike nodded slowly. “Why don’t I see what’s she doing right now? I bet she’s ready for a kiss and make-up, too,” Willow said, heading towards the training room.

“She’s more than likely worried about you forgiving her,” Dawn said with a smile. “Don’t worry so much.”

“I’d worry a lot,” Willow panted, running back. “The door to the alley is open. She’s gone.”

The group exchanged panicked glances before making a mad dash for the training room.

“Any sign of a fight?” Xander asked, flipping on the light. Sure enough, the room was empty. The back door hung open, the cool night air blowing through the room.

Willow shook her head. “None that I could see. But if they’re looking for her, there’ll be a fight soon enough.”

Spike hurried over to the weapons rack and pulled out an axe. “Let’s go,” he said, heading towards the back door. The others quickly followed suit.

 

< \--- >

 

Buffy wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. Her jacket kept her warm enough, true, but the alley was very tall, and very, very dark. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea…

A rustling to her left caused her to jump. “H-Hello?” she called out tentatively. When nothing popped out at her, she continued on her way.

Now, where could her mommy be? Her mommy worked with paintings and pretty statues…what did they call it…a museum? No, that wasn’t it…ah! Her mommy had called it a gallery. She nodded, feeling encouraged. Soon, she’d find her mommy, and they could go home.

A noise shook her from her thoughts and she spun around. She gasped as a dark figure stepped out of the shadows. “Buffy?” it called.

She relaxed slightly. “Spike?”

“What the bloody ‘ell are you doin’ out here?!” he asked angrily, bending in front of her. Buffy backed up a few steps. He looked furious. For the first time since they’d met, Buffy was truly scared. That was the look her daddy usually gave her when she was bad…

“I…I thought you were mad at me, so I left,” she said softly, cringing as he stood up quickly.

“Red! Glinda! Harris! I found her. Thought runnin’ off would be fun,” he said, glaring down at her.

The others soon joined him, and looked mad as well. “She just ran away? That’s it?” Dawn said, scowling at Buffy. “Sounds like her.”

Buffy bit her lip, getting ready to duck. She would be punished for sure this time.

Inside, Spike was shouting with joy at having found her in one piece. On the outside, his emotions were a jumbled mess.

“I’m…” Buffy started, but never finished.

Five figures jumped out of the shadows, one of them tackling Buffy. She shrieked and tried to get out of his clutches. The Scoobies, upon realizing they were dealing with ordinary vampires, let loose their rage, frustrations, and worries on the demons.

Spike turned to the one holding Buffy and frowned. He wasn’t trying to bite her, just hold her still, from the looks of it. What was going on?

“Let me mmmpphhh!!” Buffy yelled, her voice now muffled by the vampire’s hand clamped firmly over her mouth.

Spike gasped and fell to the ground, his mind reeling from the blow. He found himself being dragged to his feet, his vision beginning to clear. Looking around, he found more vampires had arrived, and each of the Scoobies was now caught.

Another figure emerged from the shadows, and the other vampires nodded their heads in respect to the newcomer. “Greetings,” the vampire said, smiling coldly. “Thank you for pointing out the Slayer. I hadn’t realized she was…this _small_ of a problem.”

The vampires chuckled at the joke, and Spike desperately tried to wriggle free. He moaned as the vampire cuffed him over the head again.

“Of course, the blood sacrifices I need will require you,” the leader said.

“Who are you?” Willow demanded.

“I am Largarios,” he said simply. “And I have a plan. Bring them, and let us get straight to it.” He turned and began to walk away.

Buffy looked at the others frantically, realizing they were caught because of her. She pulled back, then opened wide, and bit down on the vampire’s hand as hard as she could. He howled in pain and nursed his hand; she took off running.

“Buffy!! Keep going!” Tara yelled.

“Do we go after her?” one of the vampires asked.

Largarios shrugged. “She can’t do anything to upset the ritual, and she wasn’t needed in the first place. But, if you’d like to chase her, then by all means, do.”

Three of the vampires snarled happily and began to give chase.

“RUN!!!” Spike screamed, before something hard hit his head again. He heard Dawn shriek, muffled yelling, and then the world went black.

 

< \--- >

 

Buffy panted, Spike’s voice ringing in her ears. She could hear them behind her, and realized the only thing she could do was keep running. But they were faster than she was! They’d get her in no time.

An abandoned house with a small hole in the wall gave her an idea, and she dove through it. As she had suspected, the bigger vampires couldn’t get through. They were stuck.

Okay, they had speed on their side. She had size. Where could she go, though?

She gasped as she realized they were going to knock down the rest of the wall. Think, think, think! She could go back to the house. She’d be safe there, right? Right.

Pounding on the wall told her she didn’t have much time. She began to run through the house, looking for an exit. She found the kitchen door and opened it, and kept running.

She remembered that they had passed a movie theater…there it was! She had passed a bunch of motorcycles, too. She looked down the street, right, then left, and saw the motorcycles to her right. Right it was.

There was the neighborhood; the house wasn’t much farther. Shouting from behind her told her that they were on her trail once more.

Her chest was beginning to hurt. So tired…she wasn’t going to make it. And maybe they had locked the door!

She ran up the front porch and tried the door. She whimpered when she realized they had locked it. She was stuck.

Wait. Her mommy did it, maybe they did too…Buffy began to look around for a hidden key. She looked under the mat, then back up at the fast approaching vampires. Keep looking!

A glint of gold in a nearby flowerpot caught her attention. She beamed as she grabbed the key and jammed it into the keyhole. They were on the sidewalk…

She opened the door and ran into the house just as the vampires lunged at her. She stared as they flew back, looking like they had hit something invisible. She was safe.

She stuck her tongue out at them and slammed the door in their face, locking it tight. Putting the key in her pocket, she went upstairs.

Once upstairs, she fell onto the bed, burying her head in the pillows. Tara, Willow, Dawn, Xander, Anya, and Spike. They were all in trouble now, because of her. That nasty vampire might hurt them. She began to cry.

No! No more crying. She was done being a crybaby. She sat up and looked around the room. Weapons were stacked in a corner, sharp and gleaming. She rushed over to pick up the scariest looking sword, but couldn’t. It was too heavy.

How was she supposed to save them, then? Was she really going to try that? The more she thought about it, the surer she was. They had saved her, and now it was time for her to return the favor.

She continued her search until she found a necklace with a big cross on it. Perfect. She was about to put it on when a picture caught her eye.

It was a picture of everyone, smiling, with a pretty blonde girl standing next to Spike and Dawn. Buffy knew in an instant that it was grown-up her. She looked brave and strong, like a hero should.

Buffy turned and headed towards the closet. If she was going to be a hero, she should dress like one, too, right? Right. She dug through the closet until she found a big T-shirt, and a pair of shorts. She tied a big knot in the shirt, so it didn’t hang around her knees, and wrapped a belt tight around her waist to keep the shorts from falling. Then she saw it.

A black, leather jacket, hanging in the closet. Almost like Spike’s.

It took a few jumps to pull it off of the hanger, and when she did finally get it down, it was way too big. Ah ha! She knew how to solve this problem.

As quickly as possible, she rolled back the sleeves until her hands showed. Once she was done, she slipped the necklace over her head and looked around. She was good to go.

She dashed into the next room and peered out the window. The three vampires were still in the front yard, growling amongst themselves.

“Should head back,” one of them said. “She won’t be coming out for a long time. By then, the ritual will be over, anyway.”

As the others nodded their agreement, Buffy hurried down the stairs. She tiptoed past the front door, staying away from the windows. As fast as she could, she made her way out the back door and towards the front yard, staying hidden in the bushes.

She was just in time. The vampires were already making their way back down the street. Silently as she could, she followed them.

 

< \--- >

 

“Spike, Spike! C’mon, wake up!”

Spike groaned and opened his eyes. Dawn was hovering over him anxiously. “Can you sit up?” she asked.

He nodded, the action sending pain through his skull. “What hit me?” he mumbled, Xander helping him up.

“The question you want to ask is more, how many times did it hit you?” Xander commented.

“Buffy?” Spike asked.

“She ran and didn’t look back,” Tara said. “I don’t think they found her. Don’t worry about her.”

“Yeah, worry more about us,” Anya said.

For the first time since he’d awakened, Spike had a chance to view his surroundings. They were standing on a slab of rock, wide, rusty pipes hanging above them. The room was almost unbearably hot, and Spike realized why when he peered over the rock’s edge. The bottom of the room was nothing but molten rock.

“Wouldn’t recommend jumping that way,” Xander quipped.

“Instant death,” Willow affirmed. “He shoved one of his own guys down there to prove it.”

“Who did?” Spike asked, puzzled.

“I did,” Largarios said, as Spike turned around. He looked smug. Behind him, there was a huge flight of stairs.

“Take it we’re a ways down?” Spike asked.

Tara nodded. “Way down into the ground. An old temple a few miles in, I think.”

A minion came forward, carrying a pendant in his hands. “Sir, what should I do with this?”

“Not carry it around everywhere! What if you were to drop it?” Largarios hissed. “Put it away.”

“Yes, sir,” the minion said, turning away. Gently, he placed the pendant on a cushion, which was positioned carefully on a tall slab of rock.

“Take it that’s the next grand way to bring ‘bout the end of the world?” Spike asked.

Largarios growled, “You have no idea, vampire. It is something that would tune me with all the powers of darkness, and give me control over everyone, every _thing_.”

“And how exactly do you get that thing to do its mojo?” Xander asked.

Largarios smiled. “Blood ritual of the strongest warriors that are friends of a Slayer, but not a Slayer themselves.”

Spike stepped in front of the Scoobies, slipping into game face. “You won’t touch one of them,” he hissed.

Largarios continued to smile, his hand reaching for his belt. Before Spike could lunge, Largarios had pulled out a sword and swung at Spike. Dawn shrieked as her best friend fell to the ground, blood streaming down his face.

“Don’t bleed all of it,” Largarios taunted. “I’ll be needing some.”

  
< \--- >

 

Buffy stopped to take a few breaths. These stairs seemed to last forever.

She had followed the three vampires without incident all the way to the secret hideout. Once she had seen that it was nothing but stairs to the bottom, she had almost gone back. She _hated_ heights.

But the thought of the others kept her going. So as steady as she had managed, she had continued down the stairs at her own pace, letting the three vampires disappear.

She walked down another flight and found herself very close to the bottom. When she caught sight of the two vampires on guard at the bottom, however, she ducked back, trying to think. They’d overpower her in seconds. She stood no chance. There HAD to be another way in.

Gleams of light above her on the stairs caught her attention, and she followed it to find a crack in the wall. The wall looked crumbly.

As quietly as she could, she began to clear away the rubble. Voices could be heard from the other side, and soon she had cleared enough away to crawl through.

She found herself in a red-tinged room, with rocks on one side, and pipes in front of her. Beneath the pipes was a fiery bottom.

She turned to see the Scoobies standing on the rock, all in one piece. She smiled. They were okay.

They were also talking to the bad guy. He was saying something, and the others were backing away, looking scared. Except for Spike.

Spike stood in front of the others, showing his vampire face. Buffy gasped as the evil vampire pulled out a sword and hit Spike in the face with it. He fell to the ground, as Dawn screamed and hurried to his side.

He looked up, his normal face back. Buffy felt her vision blur as she saw his bloody face. She had to save them.

Suddenly, something glinted and caught her attention. She turned a little more to see a golden pendant resting on a pillow. That bad guy probably wanted it to take over the world with. That’s how it always was in the stories, at least.

But this wasn’t a story. Still, Buffy knew that the pendant was important. She had to get it away from him.

Quiet as a mouse, she crept down towards it, trying to stay hidden. She smiled as she realized she was right behind it. Showtime.

 

< \--- >

 

Largarios chuckled. “This is the part where your Slayer would usually run in to save you, right?”

“You made her tiny!” Anya exclaimed.

Largarios shook his head. “Unfortunately, I can’t claim credit for that. I wish I could, but sadly, no.”

Just then, the three vampires that had chased after Buffy strode over. “Ah, how goes the situation?” Largarios asked.

The first one chuckled, and licked his lips. They were blood stained. “She didn’t stand a chance.”

Spike’s eyes widened. No. She couldn’t be. With a roar he lunged forward, only to have Largarios kick him back. He fell to the ground, curling up from the kick to the abdomen.

Willow and Xander knelt down next to him. “It’s okay, Spike,” Xander said, tears in his eyes. “She probably wasn’t in pain for…” He swallowed, unable to finish.

“Oh please, no,” Willow said, her voice thick with emotion.

Spike rolled on to his side and began to sob. Someone began to stroke his hair, and he realized it was Tara. “S...S’not fair,” he choked out. From the corner of his eye, he could see Dawn in Xander’s arms, crying.

Largarios smiled. Things were going his way. “Thank you,” he said to the three vampires, who nodded and stepped away. “It is now time. Bring forth the pendant that shall bring about the next era.”

The minion hurried over to the cushion. Spike swallowed. So much for getting out. “M’sorry, Glinda.”

Tara tried to smile. “It’s not your fault. We can’t win every battle.”

Spike looked up at the rest of the Scoobies, who were nodding. “At least we’re going down together!” Xander said, smiling weakly.

“Sir, the pendant is gone!” the minion said, backing away at Largarios’ furious look.

“WHAT?!?” Largarios bellowed.

“Looking for this?” a young voice said from above them. All heads turned upwards to see a young girl swimming in a black jacket, holding the pendant in her hands. Largarios snarled as the Scoobies cheered. Spike couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Buffy?!”

She turned and winked at him. “Looky what I got!” she taunted, dangling the pendant over the pipes.

“Give it back, child,” Largarios said, taking two steps towards her. She took two steps back.

“No way! You want it? Come and get it, you yellow-belly!”

“She said it. She actually said the word!” Dawn said, jumping up and down with delight.

Largarios hissed and jumped up onto a higher slab of rock. That put her in motion. Buffy turned and ran down the nearest pipe.

“Don’t look down, don’t look down,” she chanted to herself, aiming for a metal beam that was holding the pipe up. As she continued running, her foot slipped, and she hobbled back and forth. Dawn cringed, and Willow began praying for her to stay strong. Spike began to shake. What if she fell? “C’mon kitten, you can do it,” he whispered.

Buffy kept moving, though she was losing her balance and fast. She jumped and grabbed the beam, almost slipping off. She pulled herself up and turned to glare defiantly at Largarios, pendant still in hand.

The Scoobies all breathed sighs of relief. “Way too close,” Xander said.

“Why did she come here?” Anya asked. “She could get herself killed.”

“Give me the pendant, please,” Largarios said, stepping out onto the pipe.

“Only if you let them go,” Buffy said, gripping the pendant tighter.

Largarios smiled. “Of course.”

“Buffy, don’t listen to him!” Spike yelled up at her. “He’s lyin’!”

“Would someone _please_ shut him up?” Largarios sighed, as two minions headed towards Spike.

Buffy shook her head and waved the pendant around. “Never mind,” Largarios grumbled. The two minions backed away.

“Better. Now, are you gonna let them go?”

Largarios sighed. “Yes, I’ll let them go. Are you satisfied? And please don’t swing that pendant around! If you were to drop it…”

“Your big an’ evil plans would be mushed?”

“Yes, ‘mushed’, as you so put it,” Largarios said, stepping forward.

Buffy looked down at the others, a frown on her face. “They’ll not be harmed, I promise you,” he said.

Suddenly, the beam she was holding on the gave way on the top. The pipe lurched, and Buffy began to fall. The Scoobies yelled and jumped forward, only to be stopped by the end of the rock. One more step, and they would fall to a heated death. They backed away, their eyes glued to their leader.

Buffy managed to grab hold on the beam, which had bent downwards. Largarios ran out and stretched his hand out to her. “Give me the pendant!” he yelled.

“NO!”

“Fine! Then give me your hand!”

“Will you let me go?” she asked.

He grinned, morphing into game face. “But of course not.”

“Then NO!”

“The pendant!”

“NO!!”

The beam she was holding on to creaked with the weight, and began to rip away at the metal on the pipe. Spike looked around desperately for a way to reach her. None. The only way up was blocked by two vampires, and Largarios was up there with her. She was trapped.

“We need to reach her somehow,” Willow said. So he wasn’t the only one looking for a way to get her out.

“How?”

“I don’t know!” Dawn looked around, her eyes landing on a coil of rope. “There’s just some rope. Not much.”

Suddenly Buffy screamed. Spike looked up to see her holding on with one hand. The other hand was dangling down, the pendant still in her grip. Largarios looked furious, and something red trickled down Buffy’s face. Spike clenched his fists. He’d hit her.

“Why do you care so much?” Largarios hissed. “Aren’t you scared?”

“Terrified,” Buffy admitted. She looked back at Spike, the blood seeping from the top of her head to her chin. She smiled as she said, “But I’m a hero. And heroes always do the right thing.”

Spike’s eyes widened. She wouldn’t. He began to run towards the edge, the others yelling in surprise.

Buffy looked up at Largarios, then back at the others. She closed her eyes and let go of the beam.

Spike pushed off from the ledge and jumped forward, grabbing Buffy as she fell. He wrapped her in his arms as they dropped towards the molten rock.

“The rope!” Dawn yelled.

“It’ll do no good,” Tara said, hurrying to the ledge. “Willow, help me extend the life-line.”

Willow looked startled, before nodding and latching her fingers through Tara’s. Their eyes glowed red, before they both extended their hands towards the canyon of fire. A mystical chain started at their palms and shot down towards the falling duo. It grabbed the pair and hoisted them back up to safety.

Largarios snarled and began to run back towards them, but the pipe suddenly gave way. Moments later, he was engulfed in flames. The other minions took off running at the death of their leader.

Xander pulled Spike up. “You caught her!” he said, surprised.

But Spike ignored him. “Buffy. Buffy! C’mon kitten, answer me.”

She looked up at him, shaking. “I-I did it, didn’t I?”

He nodded, noticing the pendant still clenched in her hands. “That you did.”

“I was a hero?”

“You’re a hero,” Spike affirmed, his smile diminishing as she began to close her eyes. “Not time for bed yet,” he said, as Tara took the pendant from her.

“But I’m tired,” Buffy said sleepily.

Tara gasped. Spike looked up and frowned at the look on her face. “What’s wrong, Glinda?”

“Her pulse is slowing,” she said quietly, before glancing up at the others. “She’s dying.”

Spike looked down at his precious Slayer. Her hair was tinged red from the blood on her forehead. She smiled at him, her dirty fingers wiping away the tears that were making their way down his face.

“M’not a yellow-belly anymore, am I?”

Spike shook his head. “No, you’re not,” he said, his voice wavering. “You’re a hero, Buffy.”

“I’m tired,” she said, closing her eyes again.

“Buffy?”

Her eyes opened slightly. “Mm, hmm?”

“I love you,” Spike said, choking up.

She looked a little surprised, before she whispered, “Love you too.” She closed her eyes once more.

“Buffy, wait,” he called, but she didn’t answer this time. “Buffy?” he asked softly, tears running down his face.

“She’s g-gone,” Tara said, wrapping Willow in her arms as they both cried.

Spike pulled the limp body into his arms, and took her tiny hand in his. “I’m sorry, luv, I’m sorry,” he whispered brokenly.

Suddenly he felt her hand move. He pulled back quickly, but found that it was still cold. Wait a minute. Was it… “She’s growin’,” Spike said, not believing what he was seeing.

The others wiped away their tears and stared in fascination as her body grew from a little girl to a young woman. The Buffy they knew.

The wound was still there on her forehead, but the color returned to her face. “Put her down,” Tara ordered, hurrying over. Spike was more then happy to agree.

“She’s still not breathing,” Dawn said, beginning to sound hysterical. “She’s not…”

“Dawnie, calm down. Just…give us a minute,” Willow said.

Spike looked her over frantically, and saw nothing wrong. The shorts that had looked like pants to little Buffy came up above the knee by a few inches. The shirt pulled up, and the knot that had kept the shirt tight now popped open as her body expanded. His eyes widened as his gaze fell on the poorly tied belt. He began to frantically try and undo the knot.

“What are you doing?!” Xander yelled.

“Too tight,” Spike said, “She can’t breathe.” With a grunt the belt fell away.

Buffy’s eyes popped open as she gasped for air. Spike quickly pulled her up to a sitting position. “Just breathe in and out. That’s it, luv. You’ll be okay.”

“At least the clothes fit,” Dawn offered.

Spike unrolled the sleeves on her jacket, and wrapped her in his arms. “Let’s go home,” he said, the others nodding their agreement.

 

< \--- >

 

Buffy awoke to the throbbing in her head. She tried to roll over, but found something hindering her move. Her eyes widened as she realized it was Spike.

Then she remembered the previous night. How he had been going to leave, but she had whimpered and pleaded, and he had agreed to stay and watch her until she fell asleep. She remembered waking from her nightmare, shaking, and Spike holding her. Apparently, he had stayed, and he was still holding her. She was also beginning to find that she didn’t mind.

She snuggled down into his embrace just as he began to come to. “Hi,” she whispered, smiling.

He caught sight of her and returned the smile. “Hi to you, too. How’s the head?”

“Hurting, but otherwise then that, no big. Slayer healing is back and working.”

He blinked, fully awake now. “You…?”

“Remember everything,” she finished.

“Then what happened? Was it a spell? Or…?”

“I have no idea,” she said with a sigh. “I was running through the cemetery towards your crypt, when I started feeling dizzy. I pushed it away until I suddenly couldn’t stand anymore. I fell to the ground, and the next thing I knew, I was five again.”

Spike nodded, frowning. “We never found anythin’ on the size change.”

“It’s okay,” Buffy said, causing Spike to turn. “I enjoyed being little again.” She smiled. “It was a better childhood then the one I’d had before.”

Spike growled and began to say something, but Buffy shushed him. “Look, I know my dad wasn’t the greatest guy, but…”

“Greatest guy?! Buffy, he abused you!” Spike exclaimed.

“Yes and no.” Spike looked bewildered. “Wait until later; I’d like to explain to the rest of the Scoobies, too.”

Spike nodded, then seemed to realize where he was for the first time. He avoided her gaze and began to get out of bed. “Sorry. I just…well…I’ll go.”

“Wait!”

Spike stopped and looked back at her. She blushed, but didn’t divert her gaze. “There’s a few things I’ve been wanting to tell you, and the first one is the reason I was headed to your crypt that night. I wanted to apologize for everything. And I know, I don’t have to,” she said, interrupting Spike, “but I do. Spike, I’m so sorry for causing this much pain.”

“The second thing is, thank you for taking care of me when I was little. For making me feel wanted, and loved, even though I’ve done nothing but treat you like garbage since I’ve come back.” She looked down at the bed. “So thank you for everything.”

Spike stared at her, shocked. Was she really saying all of this?

“And the last thing is…” She swallowed, before continuing. “I…I know I…I guess I don’t have a right to say this, after everything I’ve done, but…I…I think…I think I’m in love with you.”

There was total silence in the room. Buffy didn’t dare look up. He could’ve already left, for all she knew.

She yelped as she was tackled backwards, her arms suddenly full of Spike. “Wha…”

“Buffy, I love you so much,” he said, his voice muffled as his face pressed into her chest. He looked up at her, smiling, as tears ran down his face. “And you did the right thing. Didn’t realize it at the time, but it was the right thing to do. We needed the break, before we killed each other or somethin’.”

Buff nodded, looking relieved. “So we’re okay?”

“More then okay,” he affirmed.

“Buffy! Breakfast!” Willow called from downstairs.

Buffy smiled and took his hand. “Ready to tell them everything?”

Spike began to nod, before he realized what he was nodding to. “Wait a minute. Everythin’ means ‘bout your dad, and us?”

“Especially us,” Buffy confirmed. “Ready?”

“Ready,” he said. The two headed downstairs to the smell of waffles.

 

< \--- >

 

Buffy glanced up at everyone, having just explained the relationship she and Spike had had. The room was silent, as everyone tried to digest the information. Buffy felt someone squeeze her right hand, and turned to see Spike smiling at her.

Willow cleared her throat and went to get the next batch of waffles out of the toaster. “What will you two do now?”

Buffy looked up at her, surprised. “Um…I…I don’t know. Try again, I suppose.” She felt pressure on her hand again, and smiled, already knowing the grin that Spike was wearing.

“I think you two should go for it,” Xander said, from his seat at the counter.

Buffy’s jaw dropped. “Really?”

Xander paused, before nodding. “Yeah. You two are obviously happy. Though I’m warning you Spike, if you hurt her, you’ll deal with me.”

Spike nodded, smiling. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. ‘Sides, she could take me down any day.”

“Yeah she could,” Dawn said, exaggerating her head nod.

“HEY!”

Spike’s loud exclamation had the girls in giggles. Xander smirked. “Now the second thing you were going to tell us,” he said, leaning back slightly.

Spike’s playful grin disappeared. “You hush, or you have to leave,” Buffy warned him, knowing what is reaction would be. She faced the others and said, “I have to explain my dad.”

A silence fell on the kitchen. “Go for it,” Dawn said through gritted teeth.

Buffy sighed but continued. “When I was little, Dad used to drink a lot. He also had a very short temper. Putting the two together was a dangerous combination.”

“Did Mom know?” Dawn asked.

Buffy bit her lip. “You have GOT to stop doing that!” Xander exclaimed.

She rolled her eyes. “So I’ve been told. At any rate, the answer is sort of. Mom knew that he yelled at me, and had slight suspicions as to me getting…” Spike growled, and Buffy quickly forgot about finishing the sentence. “She didn’t say anything, though. She did speak out against his drinking, and he quit when I was 8. The physical stopped, but the verbal attacks continued. So when I got my Slayer powers, it was incredible. I could finally fight back. I never did with my dad, of course, but…”

“You still could,” Tara finished, “and that’s a comforting thought.”

Buffy nodded. “Exactly.” Her eye caught Dawn looking close to tears. “He didn’t mean to lose his temper,” Buffy said gently. “He just did.”

Dawn sniffled and hugged her sister. Spike wrapped his arms around both of his girls and held them as the other Scoobies drifted over.

After the group hug, Buffy pulled back, wiping tears away. “Do you remember everything from when you were…you know, tiny?” Anya asked.

Buffy grinned. “Willow, can I have my waffles now?”

Willow nodded. “Sure! Let me get them,” she said, heading towards the toaster.

“And don’t forget the surryup!” Buffy called.

The kitchen filled with laughter once more.

 

THE END


End file.
